melt in peace

bellyfloppin in da snow

my first communion today!

boots and cats

merry Christmas! sorry, i couldn't get you cats.
i love the act of giving. it's no wonder why God
loves to give, because in giving Himself, and since
God is love, God is giving love, which He loves doing.

nigh

it's the end of the world...not. while the high school kids
were going through their last day before break, i was just
sitting at home playing littlebigplanet and studying calculus.
also, i watched a daytime drama while i was waiting for a
system update on my ps3. i actually enjoyed it- an obvious
sign of the apocalypse. haha, but then i thought to myself,
"well, what if you knew today was going to be your last?
would anything be different?" at first, i imagined those people
that would spend their last day partying until they all died
due to curiosity, stupidity, and a total disregard for anyone's
safety. then i thought of those on the opposite side of the
spectrum. the people that would spend their last day resting
and would rather sleep through the zombie outbreak than
survive and possibly save others even if only for a day.
and then i thought, "what would you be doing right at the
moment that Jesus came back? would you be honoring Him?"
of course, if i knew the exact time of His return, i wouldn't
hesitate to try making disciples and share the gospel to literally
every single person i came into contact with. but i don't know
when He will be back and sadly, most of that urgency is pushed
to the back of my head. we do realize that He could come back
tomorrow, don't we? and knowing that, none of us are entitled
to our next day. so, would i be honoring Him in what i do?
the point is this: we are supposed to offer up everything in and
around our lives to Him as worship so that He is magnified.
the fact is this: we are saved by grace through faith in Christ,
so when the second coming occurs, we have nothing to fear-
we don't have to be doing good works at that moment in order
to be saved. but shouldn't we want to be witnessing, preaching,
loving, and worshiping before and at the time of His return?
shouldn't we strive always to give Him praise for His goodness
and faithfulness as if we owe Him our every breath- which we
do- and walk in holiness even if He doesn't return in this
generation? back to my first thought, i realize that as Christians,
we will be neither the party-savvy nor the slumber-paladins,
because we have not a man-made hope, but one that is God-given.
we will not be like those that indulge in the things of the world-
possessions, intoxication, sexual immorality, violence- those
will all pass away. nor will we be like those that are idle and
lazy, who do nothing with their gifts, ignore the needs of others,
seek their own comfort, and sleep on the job. instead, we will be
doing our work to expand God's kingdom not out of obligation,
but out of love for Christ and His people. and our hope is this:
when we are with our Lord in heaven, each day of eternity will
be a banquet filled with a joy to which no amount of parties on
earth could ever surmount to, because Christ will be the center.
and we will never tire of rejoicing His name, because He will
provide us with a rest so great that even all the hours spent sleeping
by every single living creature since the beginning of creation could
not match up to it. when i think of that, i can't wait for His return.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i finished genesis the other day! now, onto exodus!
my sickness is probably like 90% gone! which means
i can almost safely shake people's hands. come on
anti-bodies! you can keep fighting! excited for retreat!
...i met a 19-year old elder yesterday. cool beans.

evening and morning

perfect weather to stay indoors and study,
while listening to some olafur arnalds.
but, oh how i wish i had someone to study
with. or had someone to play with during
this time of sickness. the longing that
comes with a rainy day- i understand not.

rolling

depraved is this world...that is what kept me up last night.
even though i probably should have stayed home today to rest,
i decided to go to santa ana. so, as you can imagine, i tried my
best to get as much sleep as possible last night. but, like usual,
i spent most of my time before actually falling asleep thinking
and reflecting. which caused me to stay up an extra two hours.
what did i think about? how i was going to approach the homeless
and how i could use the recent tragedies as a springboard to the
gospel. it's been all over the news and within all of our prayers.
and the entire nation is asking why such horrible things happen.
i wouldn't claim to know exactly what drove a person to murder
those children, but i do know that God has allowed this to happen.
how quick are the skeptics to conclude that either God is not all-
powerful or that He simply does not care. and how quick are they
to look at the murderer and claim that he is more evil than they are.
yes, it is still a time of grief- it may take years even for some to
move on- but let's not waste this moment to merely watch more
of the world burn down. if there could be any explanation, i would
say that it simply boils down to the depravity of man. in light of
this event, we see a picture of how enslaved to sin the natural man
is and how much in need he is for a Savior. and we also see how
sick the mind of the devil is- i can't wait to see him thrown into
that lake of fire. this is a wake up call to everyone around the world.
not a call to simply change laws, but to change minds, to repent.

the claw

today, i went to daiso to get some gifts for white elephant.
and then some gifts for my self- new ankle weights, a tie,
a pair of wristbands, and a sauna suit! i'm ready to exercise
over break like a boss. only problem: i'm uber sick right now.
>.< i love how these things escalate so quickly.

am i liable

dear max, i doubt we're going to have a sleepover anytime
soon and i can't wait until winter retreat, so i'm going to hope
that you read my blog between now and then. consider this
as both a warning and a sincere distress call. and a rant.
so you know how i always give you rides back home after
church and other places when we hang out? well, my parents
aren't quite so happy about that. in fact, they're telling me that
i'm hurting you by doing so and that you are a victim in this
little fiasco. earlier today, they told me that your parents and i
are at fault for spoiling you and that in the process, your parents
are receiving all the benefits of saving money. they also said
that your parents are selfishly shifting the responsibility onto
nice guys like me. they've been telling me that i'm a 'nice guy'
like it's the worst thing in the world. who are they? wongfu?
anyway, i'm not concerned if i am forever banned from driving
you around. what concerns me is the bitterness that could result
from it and the bitterness towards your parents that is already
present in my parents' hearts. i wonder what you think of all
this- weird that i bring up such a trivial subject, huh? it just
pisses me off when people i know are badmouthed. at least
i want you to know this: driving you around is not an obligation
for me at all. you don't burden me nor make me feel used.
i'm actually thankful that i get to take you places to have our
adventures. you know what i would tell my parents if they
genuinely asked me why i drive you? it's because when you
sit in my car, i've got my wingman. you answer my phone
for me when i'm driving- you probably saved my life a few
times. you also laugh there with me (mostly at me) so i don't
feel so lonely going back home all the time. you know what
i'm talking about? all those times i would do something stupid
at a drive thru or just act silly in general. but most important
of all reasons why i choose to drive you is that you open up
to me when we're on the road. you don't really do that in group
gatherings, so it's rare to hear your deeper thoughts. do you
know how happy i am to hear your opinions of speakers,
bible studies, small group discussions, etc.? even though your
opinions about wreck-it ralph are completely wrong. of course,
we already spend a lot of time together- so much that people are
just starting to get us mixed up. is john really that much harder
to remember than max? or is everyone collaborating to call me
by your name just to mess with me? i don't know anymore, man.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
spontaneous hangout #1: the hunger games- gorgeous gale

pomona chapter ending

colossians 2:6-7
---------------------------------
calc final, i hope
you are ready for
me. because i am
not ready for you.

dynasty warriors theme

return of the heroics, return of the confidence.
i have the sudden impulse to sprint up napoleon
road at peter's canyon six times a week during
winter break. look out, big brother. i'm going to
win. in actuality, i probably won't win still, but
...what fun is it to think that losing is inevitable?
ninja training just got a little more serious.
shut up to the world's expectations. i'm doing this
for me the best i can. and the best i can do for me
is to do it all for God. tell me to grow up when i
stop being His child. i see some fight in me.
and i am thankful and i am glad. healing powers.

this is my december

remember your testimony. remember how without
that bitterness, the sweet taste of reconciliation would
not be as sweet. remember that you are loved so greatly
that even though your Maker knew you would rebel,
He so kindly made you and gave you life. remember
that you are saved by grace- through faith- and not by
works, and that it is a gift from God. remember how
amazed you were by the new mercies He provides for
you every single day. remember your former self, so
that you can praise Him for changing you. remember
the simple joy you had in Christ alone. remember that
the enemy has been defeated. remember your King.