do you even know me?

the world really has gotten bigger for you
seems like a castle's in your way...
and you are running now on the wide path.
here i am standing where our friendship
used to be, wishing you had never aged into
the darkness in which you faithfully reside.
you have always been my brother neither
older nor younger- we were equally grown.
our time together has been great- but now
i understand another side of the pain that
comes from having a best friend. i've always
thought that the hardest part was letting go,
moving on to another part of life, only to
reminisce later with a nostalgic soliloquy.
but no- now i see that breaking the bond
would only be painfully trite, and much
too easy. loving you- despite your choices-
is much more difficult. it's unconditional.
i'm not judging you, for i know that i am
not your judge. no, i have strongholds in my
life as well- many of which you can relate to-
but when you bring alcohol into the picture,
all of those summer days in which we played
so carelessly when we were younger suddenly
have turned into night. suddenly, i see you
quickening your death. suddenly, our good
memories have started to blur (possibly more
for you than for me). should i be angry at all?
should i retaliate by crashing one of those
idiotic parties that you attend just to knock
you out so that you don't further harm your
body? or maybe i should go whip your "friends"
for being stupid enough to mess with my brother.
of course i should be angry! but...i am not.
instead, i'm on the verge of tears, desperately
praying for you! don't do this to yourself!
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Jesus paid a price that He didn't owe,
because we owed a price that we couldn't pay.