 |
| bellyfloppin in da snow |
my first communion today!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
boots and cats
merry Christmas! sorry, i couldn't get you cats.
i love the act of giving. it's no wonder why God
loves to give, because in giving Himself, and since
God is love, God is giving love, which He loves doing.
i love the act of giving. it's no wonder why God
loves to give, because in giving Himself, and since
God is love, God is giving love, which He loves doing.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
nigh
it's the end of the world...not. while the high school kids
were going through their last day before break, i was just
sitting at home playing littlebigplanet and studying calculus.
also, i watched a daytime drama while i was waiting for a
system update on my ps3. i actually enjoyed it- an obvious
sign of the apocalypse. haha, but then i thought to myself,
"well, what if you knew today was going to be your last?
would anything be different?" at first, i imagined those people
that would spend their last day partying until they all died
due to curiosity, stupidity, and a total disregard for anyone's
safety. then i thought of those on the opposite side of the
spectrum. the people that would spend their last day resting
and would rather sleep through the zombie outbreak than
survive and possibly save others even if only for a day.
and then i thought, "what would you be doing right at the
moment that Jesus came back? would you be honoring Him?"
of course, if i knew the exact time of His return, i wouldn't
hesitate to try making disciples and share the gospel to literally
every single person i came into contact with. but i don't know
when He will be back and sadly, most of that urgency is pushed
to the back of my head. we do realize that He could come back
tomorrow, don't we? and knowing that, none of us are entitled
to our next day. so, would i be honoring Him in what i do?
the point is this: we are supposed to offer up everything in and
around our lives to Him as worship so that He is magnified.
the fact is this: we are saved by grace through faith in Christ,
so when the second coming occurs, we have nothing to fear-
we don't have to be doing good works at that moment in order
to be saved. but shouldn't we want to be witnessing, preaching,
loving, and worshiping before and at the time of His return?
shouldn't we strive always to give Him praise for His goodness
and faithfulness as if we owe Him our every breath- which we
do- and walk in holiness even if He doesn't return in this
generation? back to my first thought, i realize that as Christians,
we will be neither the party-savvy nor the slumber-paladins,
because we have not a man-made hope, but one that is God-given.
we will not be like those that indulge in the things of the world-
possessions, intoxication, sexual immorality, violence- those
will all pass away. nor will we be like those that are idle and
lazy, who do nothing with their gifts, ignore the needs of others,
seek their own comfort, and sleep on the job. instead, we will be
doing our work to expand God's kingdom not out of obligation,
but out of love for Christ and His people. and our hope is this:
when we are with our Lord in heaven, each day of eternity will
be a banquet filled with a joy to which no amount of parties on
earth could ever surmount to, because Christ will be the center.
and we will never tire of rejoicing His name, because He will
provide us with a rest so great that even all the hours spent sleeping
by every single living creature since the beginning of creation could
not match up to it. when i think of that, i can't wait for His return.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i finished genesis the other day! now, onto exodus!
my sickness is probably like 90% gone! which means
i can almost safely shake people's hands. come on
anti-bodies! you can keep fighting! excited for retreat!
...i met a 19-year old elder yesterday. cool beans.
were going through their last day before break, i was just
sitting at home playing littlebigplanet and studying calculus.
also, i watched a daytime drama while i was waiting for a
system update on my ps3. i actually enjoyed it- an obvious
sign of the apocalypse. haha, but then i thought to myself,
"well, what if you knew today was going to be your last?
would anything be different?" at first, i imagined those people
that would spend their last day partying until they all died
due to curiosity, stupidity, and a total disregard for anyone's
safety. then i thought of those on the opposite side of the
spectrum. the people that would spend their last day resting
and would rather sleep through the zombie outbreak than
survive and possibly save others even if only for a day.
and then i thought, "what would you be doing right at the
moment that Jesus came back? would you be honoring Him?"
of course, if i knew the exact time of His return, i wouldn't
hesitate to try making disciples and share the gospel to literally
every single person i came into contact with. but i don't know
when He will be back and sadly, most of that urgency is pushed
to the back of my head. we do realize that He could come back
tomorrow, don't we? and knowing that, none of us are entitled
to our next day. so, would i be honoring Him in what i do?
the point is this: we are supposed to offer up everything in and
around our lives to Him as worship so that He is magnified.
the fact is this: we are saved by grace through faith in Christ,
so when the second coming occurs, we have nothing to fear-
we don't have to be doing good works at that moment in order
to be saved. but shouldn't we want to be witnessing, preaching,
loving, and worshiping before and at the time of His return?
shouldn't we strive always to give Him praise for His goodness
and faithfulness as if we owe Him our every breath- which we
do- and walk in holiness even if He doesn't return in this
generation? back to my first thought, i realize that as Christians,
we will be neither the party-savvy nor the slumber-paladins,
because we have not a man-made hope, but one that is God-given.
we will not be like those that indulge in the things of the world-
possessions, intoxication, sexual immorality, violence- those
will all pass away. nor will we be like those that are idle and
lazy, who do nothing with their gifts, ignore the needs of others,
seek their own comfort, and sleep on the job. instead, we will be
doing our work to expand God's kingdom not out of obligation,
but out of love for Christ and His people. and our hope is this:
when we are with our Lord in heaven, each day of eternity will
be a banquet filled with a joy to which no amount of parties on
earth could ever surmount to, because Christ will be the center.
and we will never tire of rejoicing His name, because He will
provide us with a rest so great that even all the hours spent sleeping
by every single living creature since the beginning of creation could
not match up to it. when i think of that, i can't wait for His return.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i finished genesis the other day! now, onto exodus!
my sickness is probably like 90% gone! which means
i can almost safely shake people's hands. come on
anti-bodies! you can keep fighting! excited for retreat!
...i met a 19-year old elder yesterday. cool beans.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
evening and morning
perfect weather to stay indoors and study,
while listening to some olafur arnalds.
but, oh how i wish i had someone to study
with. or had someone to play with during
this time of sickness. the longing that
comes with a rainy day- i understand not.
while listening to some olafur arnalds.
but, oh how i wish i had someone to study
with. or had someone to play with during
this time of sickness. the longing that
comes with a rainy day- i understand not.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
rolling
depraved is this world...that is what kept me up last night.
even though i probably should have stayed home today to rest,
i decided to go to santa ana. so, as you can imagine, i tried my
best to get as much sleep as possible last night. but, like usual,
i spent most of my time before actually falling asleep thinking
and reflecting. which caused me to stay up an extra two hours.
what did i think about? how i was going to approach the homeless
and how i could use the recent tragedies as a springboard to the
gospel. it's been all over the news and within all of our prayers.
and the entire nation is asking why such horrible things happen.
i wouldn't claim to know exactly what drove a person to murder
those children, but i do know that God has allowed this to happen.
how quick are the skeptics to conclude that either God is not all-
powerful or that He simply does not care. and how quick are they
to look at the murderer and claim that he is more evil than they are.
yes, it is still a time of grief- it may take years even for some to
move on- but let's not waste this moment to merely watch more
of the world burn down. if there could be any explanation, i would
say that it simply boils down to the depravity of man. in light of
this event, we see a picture of how enslaved to sin the natural man
is and how much in need he is for a Savior. and we also see how
sick the mind of the devil is- i can't wait to see him thrown into
that lake of fire. this is a wake up call to everyone around the world.
not a call to simply change laws, but to change minds, to repent.
even though i probably should have stayed home today to rest,
i decided to go to santa ana. so, as you can imagine, i tried my
best to get as much sleep as possible last night. but, like usual,
i spent most of my time before actually falling asleep thinking
and reflecting. which caused me to stay up an extra two hours.
what did i think about? how i was going to approach the homeless
and how i could use the recent tragedies as a springboard to the
gospel. it's been all over the news and within all of our prayers.
and the entire nation is asking why such horrible things happen.
i wouldn't claim to know exactly what drove a person to murder
those children, but i do know that God has allowed this to happen.
how quick are the skeptics to conclude that either God is not all-
powerful or that He simply does not care. and how quick are they
to look at the murderer and claim that he is more evil than they are.
yes, it is still a time of grief- it may take years even for some to
move on- but let's not waste this moment to merely watch more
of the world burn down. if there could be any explanation, i would
say that it simply boils down to the depravity of man. in light of
this event, we see a picture of how enslaved to sin the natural man
is and how much in need he is for a Savior. and we also see how
sick the mind of the devil is- i can't wait to see him thrown into
that lake of fire. this is a wake up call to everyone around the world.
not a call to simply change laws, but to change minds, to repent.
Monday, December 10, 2012
the claw
today, i went to daiso to get some gifts for white elephant.
and then some gifts for my self- new ankle weights, a tie,
a pair of wristbands, and a sauna suit! i'm ready to exercise
over break like a boss. only problem: i'm uber sick right now.
>.< i love how these things escalate so quickly.
and then some gifts for my self- new ankle weights, a tie,
a pair of wristbands, and a sauna suit! i'm ready to exercise
over break like a boss. only problem: i'm uber sick right now.
>.< i love how these things escalate so quickly.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
am i liable
dear max, i doubt we're going to have a sleepover anytime
soon and i can't wait until winter retreat, so i'm going to hope
that you read my blog between now and then. consider this
as both a warning and a sincere distress call. and a rant.
so you know how i always give you rides back home after
church and other places when we hang out? well, my parents
aren't quite so happy about that. in fact, they're telling me that
i'm hurting you by doing so and that you are a victim in this
little fiasco. earlier today, they told me that your parents and i
are at fault for spoiling you and that in the process, your parents
are receiving all the benefits of saving money. they also said
that your parents are selfishly shifting the responsibility onto
nice guys like me. they've been telling me that i'm a 'nice guy'
like it's the worst thing in the world. who are they? wongfu?
anyway, i'm not concerned if i am forever banned from driving
you around. what concerns me is the bitterness that could result
from it and the bitterness towards your parents that is already
present in my parents' hearts. i wonder what you think of all
this- weird that i bring up such a trivial subject, huh? it just
pisses me off when people i know are badmouthed. at least
i want you to know this: driving you around is not an obligation
for me at all. you don't burden me nor make me feel used.
i'm actually thankful that i get to take you places to have our
adventures. you know what i would tell my parents if they
genuinely asked me why i drive you? it's because when you
sit in my car, i've got my wingman. you answer my phone
for me when i'm driving- you probably saved my life a few
times. you also laugh there with me (mostly at me) so i don't
feel so lonely going back home all the time. you know what
i'm talking about? all those times i would do something stupid
at a drive thru or just act silly in general. but most important
of all reasons why i choose to drive you is that you open up
to me when we're on the road. you don't really do that in group
gatherings, so it's rare to hear your deeper thoughts. do you
know how happy i am to hear your opinions of speakers,
bible studies, small group discussions, etc.? even though your
opinions about wreck-it ralph are completely wrong. of course,
we already spend a lot of time together- so much that people are
just starting to get us mixed up. is john really that much harder
to remember than max? or is everyone collaborating to call me
by your name just to mess with me? i don't know anymore, man.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
spontaneous hangout #1: the hunger games- gorgeous gale
soon and i can't wait until winter retreat, so i'm going to hope
that you read my blog between now and then. consider this
as both a warning and a sincere distress call. and a rant.
so you know how i always give you rides back home after
church and other places when we hang out? well, my parents
aren't quite so happy about that. in fact, they're telling me that
i'm hurting you by doing so and that you are a victim in this
little fiasco. earlier today, they told me that your parents and i
are at fault for spoiling you and that in the process, your parents
are receiving all the benefits of saving money. they also said
that your parents are selfishly shifting the responsibility onto
nice guys like me. they've been telling me that i'm a 'nice guy'
like it's the worst thing in the world. who are they? wongfu?
anyway, i'm not concerned if i am forever banned from driving
you around. what concerns me is the bitterness that could result
from it and the bitterness towards your parents that is already
present in my parents' hearts. i wonder what you think of all
this- weird that i bring up such a trivial subject, huh? it just
pisses me off when people i know are badmouthed. at least
i want you to know this: driving you around is not an obligation
for me at all. you don't burden me nor make me feel used.
i'm actually thankful that i get to take you places to have our
adventures. you know what i would tell my parents if they
genuinely asked me why i drive you? it's because when you
sit in my car, i've got my wingman. you answer my phone
for me when i'm driving- you probably saved my life a few
times. you also laugh there with me (mostly at me) so i don't
feel so lonely going back home all the time. you know what
i'm talking about? all those times i would do something stupid
at a drive thru or just act silly in general. but most important
of all reasons why i choose to drive you is that you open up
to me when we're on the road. you don't really do that in group
gatherings, so it's rare to hear your deeper thoughts. do you
know how happy i am to hear your opinions of speakers,
bible studies, small group discussions, etc.? even though your
opinions about wreck-it ralph are completely wrong. of course,
we already spend a lot of time together- so much that people are
just starting to get us mixed up. is john really that much harder
to remember than max? or is everyone collaborating to call me
by your name just to mess with me? i don't know anymore, man.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
spontaneous hangout #1: the hunger games- gorgeous gale
Thursday, December 6, 2012
pomona chapter ending
colossians 2:6-7
---------------------------------
calc final, i hope
you are ready for
me. because i am
not ready for you.
---------------------------------
calc final, i hope
you are ready for
me. because i am
not ready for you.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
dynasty warriors theme
return of the heroics, return of the confidence.
i have the sudden impulse to sprint up napoleon
road at peter's canyon six times a week during
winter break. look out, big brother. i'm going to
win. in actuality, i probably won't win still, but
...what fun is it to think that losing is inevitable?
ninja training just got a little more serious.
shut up to the world's expectations. i'm doing this
for me the best i can. and the best i can do for me
is to do it all for God. tell me to grow up when i
stop being His child. i see some fight in me.
and i am thankful and i am glad. healing powers.
i have the sudden impulse to sprint up napoleon
road at peter's canyon six times a week during
winter break. look out, big brother. i'm going to
win. in actuality, i probably won't win still, but
...what fun is it to think that losing is inevitable?
ninja training just got a little more serious.
shut up to the world's expectations. i'm doing this
for me the best i can. and the best i can do for me
is to do it all for God. tell me to grow up when i
stop being His child. i see some fight in me.
and i am thankful and i am glad. healing powers.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
this is my december
remember your testimony. remember how without
that bitterness, the sweet taste of reconciliation would
not be as sweet. remember that you are loved so greatly
that even though your Maker knew you would rebel,
He so kindly made you and gave you life. remember
that you are saved by grace- through faith- and not by
works, and that it is a gift from God. remember how
amazed you were by the new mercies He provides for
you every single day. remember your former self, so
that you can praise Him for changing you. remember
the simple joy you had in Christ alone. remember that
the enemy has been defeated. remember your King.
that bitterness, the sweet taste of reconciliation would
not be as sweet. remember that you are loved so greatly
that even though your Maker knew you would rebel,
He so kindly made you and gave you life. remember
that you are saved by grace- through faith- and not by
works, and that it is a gift from God. remember how
amazed you were by the new mercies He provides for
you every single day. remember your former self, so
that you can praise Him for changing you. remember
the simple joy you had in Christ alone. remember that
the enemy has been defeated. remember your King.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
helios
clam chowder sounds good right about now...
i got a perfect score on my calc midterm!
why the heck does it still feel like i'm failing?
i've made up my mind. it's going to be ivc.
i need to get back in shape! i'm getting weak.
i got a perfect score on my calc midterm!
why the heck does it still feel like i'm failing?
i've made up my mind. it's going to be ivc.
i need to get back in shape! i'm getting weak.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
two tales
possibly considering transferring to ivc for two years...
there is a lot of uncertainty at this point and i have to
make a big decision. praying for discernment and wisdom-
could it be God's will for me to stay in pomona where
i'm barely being effective in terms of reaching out to others?
for once, i'm impatient because i feel like i have no control.
and i know that is just my disobedience talking, but at the
same time, i wish i knew more. i wish i could be more
resourceful and reliable, but really, i've just been too simple-
minded. too complacent with the daily routine of studying
like a hermit king. to be honest with myself, i should have
been more honest to myself and made a stance. i should
have made it clear that i still haven't quite made up my mind
yet. i should be more courageous and tell it like it is. i like
math and physics, but what i love studying more than anything
is simply God's word. i want to spend my days reading the
bible while sipping some kind of hot tea. but i don't want just
knowledge. i want to be constantly transformed by it. i want
my life to be totally flipped upside down. i want to truly seek
after the Lord and be used as a tool for His purposes. i want
to genuinely care for His people. i don't care for money.
so what am i doing out there if my only purpose is to get a
career one day? if not to love You and my neighbors, what
else could You possibly will for me? for whatever You decide,
please grace me with a spirit of thanksgiving and joy.
there is a lot of uncertainty at this point and i have to
make a big decision. praying for discernment and wisdom-
could it be God's will for me to stay in pomona where
i'm barely being effective in terms of reaching out to others?
for once, i'm impatient because i feel like i have no control.
and i know that is just my disobedience talking, but at the
same time, i wish i knew more. i wish i could be more
resourceful and reliable, but really, i've just been too simple-
minded. too complacent with the daily routine of studying
like a hermit king. to be honest with myself, i should have
been more honest to myself and made a stance. i should
have made it clear that i still haven't quite made up my mind
yet. i should be more courageous and tell it like it is. i like
math and physics, but what i love studying more than anything
is simply God's word. i want to spend my days reading the
bible while sipping some kind of hot tea. but i don't want just
knowledge. i want to be constantly transformed by it. i want
my life to be totally flipped upside down. i want to truly seek
after the Lord and be used as a tool for His purposes. i want
to genuinely care for His people. i don't care for money.
so what am i doing out there if my only purpose is to get a
career one day? if not to love You and my neighbors, what
else could You possibly will for me? for whatever You decide,
please grace me with a spirit of thanksgiving and joy.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
me and the t-virus
i think if there was a zombie apocalypse, i wouldn't save
anyone. i mean, not because i wouldn't be capable of helping,
but because i would rather face the impending doom of the
world alone. i would rather survive on my own and not have
to burden others with my awkward presence. and if i were
bitten, i wouldn't have to ask a friend to finish me off. i also
wouldn't save anyone, because in an apocalypse, we would
tend to think "we need to stick together" while forgetting that
humans are still humans. i wouldn't be able to trust anyone,
except Jesus, so even if i did save anyone, he or she would
probably dislike me for being so cynical. they'd think, "who
does he think he is? acting like he doesn't need to rely on us?"
and i would stay silent without protest, pretending to be focused
on more important things like my ammunition (although i
already know i've got only six shells left). i would be cold
towards everyone and i wouldn't try to say anything that would
bring hope into their lives. i wouldn't save anyone, because
by then, my naive perception of heroism would be crushed
by the fact that those who risked their lives to save others in
the first days of the outbreak died and were forgotten.
by then, however, it would no longer be fear that held me back
-it would be straight up disdain. i think i may even love the
infected more than those that survived. if...there was a zombie
apocalypse, i realize that much of my cynicism wouldn't change.
anyone. i mean, not because i wouldn't be capable of helping,
but because i would rather face the impending doom of the
world alone. i would rather survive on my own and not have
to burden others with my awkward presence. and if i were
bitten, i wouldn't have to ask a friend to finish me off. i also
wouldn't save anyone, because in an apocalypse, we would
tend to think "we need to stick together" while forgetting that
humans are still humans. i wouldn't be able to trust anyone,
except Jesus, so even if i did save anyone, he or she would
probably dislike me for being so cynical. they'd think, "who
does he think he is? acting like he doesn't need to rely on us?"
and i would stay silent without protest, pretending to be focused
on more important things like my ammunition (although i
already know i've got only six shells left). i would be cold
towards everyone and i wouldn't try to say anything that would
bring hope into their lives. i wouldn't save anyone, because
by then, my naive perception of heroism would be crushed
by the fact that those who risked their lives to save others in
the first days of the outbreak died and were forgotten.
by then, however, it would no longer be fear that held me back
-it would be straight up disdain. i think i may even love the
infected more than those that survived. if...there was a zombie
apocalypse, i realize that much of my cynicism wouldn't change.
Monday, November 12, 2012
stinkbrain
wreck-it ralph is quite possibly one of the best movies
i have seen in a while. cute and epic go so well together.
i have seen in a while. cute and epic go so well together.
Friday, November 9, 2012
point more nostalgia
you know, it's strange. last night i couldn't sleep, but
not because i was pointlessly pondering pictures of
past people, places, and things. instead, i was thinking
of the future and how exciting it's going to be. and not
just my future, but also the future of my brothers and
sisters. how much God would work in each of their
lives and mine, how much we would build one another
up with love and encouragement, and how much more
glory God has to receive! that kept me up last night!
up to that point, it had been a long, busy, trial-filled
week, so last night was supposed to be my rest night.
but for whatever reason, i could not stop thinking about
the goodness of our Lord! and with a heart of thanksgiving,
i could not stop praising Him for His faithfulness!
i thought, "God, i need sleep...why are You filling my
mind with such exciting thoughts now? i need rest."
and as i laid there in the dark, i listened for His voice.
"john, am I not your rest? if you sleep now, you may
have energy and strength to go through tomorrow,
but at night you will be tired again. but, if you stay
awake longer thinking of Me, you may be exhausted
tomorrow and even more tired at night. however, I will
be your energy and strength and at night I will not tire.
therefore, rest in Me." and as i laid there, i smiled.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 thessalonians 5:16-18 pray without ceasing.
thank you for all of your prayers. i love you!
not because i was pointlessly pondering pictures of
past people, places, and things. instead, i was thinking
of the future and how exciting it's going to be. and not
just my future, but also the future of my brothers and
sisters. how much God would work in each of their
lives and mine, how much we would build one another
up with love and encouragement, and how much more
glory God has to receive! that kept me up last night!
up to that point, it had been a long, busy, trial-filled
week, so last night was supposed to be my rest night.
but for whatever reason, i could not stop thinking about
the goodness of our Lord! and with a heart of thanksgiving,
i could not stop praising Him for His faithfulness!
i thought, "God, i need sleep...why are You filling my
mind with such exciting thoughts now? i need rest."
and as i laid there in the dark, i listened for His voice.
"john, am I not your rest? if you sleep now, you may
have energy and strength to go through tomorrow,
but at night you will be tired again. but, if you stay
awake longer thinking of Me, you may be exhausted
tomorrow and even more tired at night. however, I will
be your energy and strength and at night I will not tire.
therefore, rest in Me." and as i laid there, i smiled.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 thessalonians 5:16-18 pray without ceasing.
thank you for all of your prayers. i love you!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
low virtual
memory low. nostalgia no.
losing sanity. losing sleep.
hardworking. working slow.
lone wolf. missing sheep.
losing sanity. losing sleep.
hardworking. working slow.
lone wolf. missing sheep.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
an impression of timidity
sing like you think no one's listening
you would kill for this
just a little bit
just a little bit
you would...
sing me something soft,
sad and delicate,
or loud and out of key.
sing me anything.
------------------------------------------------------
being nonchalant doesn't seem to work
you would kill for this
just a little bit
just a little bit
you would...
sing me something soft,
sad and delicate,
or loud and out of key.
sing me anything.
------------------------------------------------------
being nonchalant doesn't seem to work
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
hallo-wen
fighting for my dependence.
---------------------------------------------
i can't believe i actually have
a small migraine after only four
pieces of candy. i've gotten weak.
---------------------------------------------
i can't believe i actually have
a small migraine after only four
pieces of candy. i've gotten weak.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
textbook out the window (again)
i'm halfway between being neutral about and hating
with a strong passion the study of chemistry. my
physics oriented brain can't handle all these moles,
and salts, and redox reactions, and limiting reagents,
and solubility rules, and chemical compound names.
if someone is willing to teach me chem, i would
gladly give them a big hug. because even after i
understand it, i will still need a hug for the pain.
with a strong passion the study of chemistry. my
physics oriented brain can't handle all these moles,
and salts, and redox reactions, and limiting reagents,
and solubility rules, and chemical compound names.
if someone is willing to teach me chem, i would
gladly give them a big hug. because even after i
understand it, i will still need a hug for the pain.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
disconnect
on the drive back to pomona tonight, there was silence in the car.
not the type of silence caused by tiredness, but rather confusion.
coming home this time around had a different feeling than the first.
of course, i was homesick beforehand both times, but for some reason,
i spent more of this weekend in deep pondering. thoughts that pierce
through my original way of thinking, making me question whether
or not i really am missing those that i love or if i just have the tendency
to be discontent wherever i am because of a few transitions in life.
i told myself i would not cry for cinny, but being on the verge of tears
throughout the weekend is probably worse than pouring it all out.
sadness- i won't deny its presence in my thought life. but i will not
let this momentary grief turn into an elongated one by dwelling on
the past. although i'm basically addicted to nostalgia, i know that
it would not make sense for me to seek joy by running from it.
Lord, help me let go. You give and take away. and if You were to
take everything away from me until You are all i have, that would
be far more merciful, because in that, i would receive all of You.
not the type of silence caused by tiredness, but rather confusion.
coming home this time around had a different feeling than the first.
of course, i was homesick beforehand both times, but for some reason,
i spent more of this weekend in deep pondering. thoughts that pierce
through my original way of thinking, making me question whether
or not i really am missing those that i love or if i just have the tendency
to be discontent wherever i am because of a few transitions in life.
i told myself i would not cry for cinny, but being on the verge of tears
throughout the weekend is probably worse than pouring it all out.
sadness- i won't deny its presence in my thought life. but i will not
let this momentary grief turn into an elongated one by dwelling on
the past. although i'm basically addicted to nostalgia, i know that
it would not make sense for me to seek joy by running from it.
Lord, help me let go. You give and take away. and if You were to
take everything away from me until You are all i have, that would
be far more merciful, because in that, i would receive all of You.
Monday, October 22, 2012
get that weak stuff outta here
 |
| creepy knows creepin' |
so my roommate fell asleep a little early. so i took pictures.
Friday, October 19, 2012
wave one
yesterday, i took my first midterm. and thankfully, it was for calculus.
i don't know what it is about the way i've been able to look at situations
around me, but i must say this: you know those times in your life when
you have prayers that are mainly filled with thanksgiving? when you
have nothing on your mind but appreciation for everything and anything
even for what you would normally deem "bad," so your prayers consist
of only statements that begin with "thank You" and end with "You are
so good to me"- do you know those kinds of prayers? i've been having
a lot of those lately. i've also been thinking a lot about God's jealousy
for His bride. oh, how He fights for her joy! how He shows her His
infinite value and beauty and glory! His will for you in Christ Jesus!
i don't know what it is about the way i've been able to look at situations
around me, but i must say this: you know those times in your life when
you have prayers that are mainly filled with thanksgiving? when you
have nothing on your mind but appreciation for everything and anything
even for what you would normally deem "bad," so your prayers consist
of only statements that begin with "thank You" and end with "You are
so good to me"- do you know those kinds of prayers? i've been having
a lot of those lately. i've also been thinking a lot about God's jealousy
for His bride. oh, how He fights for her joy! how He shows her His
infinite value and beauty and glory! His will for you in Christ Jesus!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
speeches
mwuahahahahahahahahaha! i had fun today in class.
for our first graded assignment in communications, we
were put into groups that each were required to have
a half-hour long combined speech about the qualities
of an effective public speaker. for my characteristic, i
spoke about authenticity/ honesty and it went like this:
among all of the characteristics of a good public speaker, i think that authenticity or honesty is the most important both to the one speaking and the ones listening. because, i could have the perfect posture, i could wow you all with my metaphors and allusions, i could have soul-piercing eye contact, or i could even take off my glasses in a dramatic fashion, (pause) but to be honest, without my glasses i can no longer see your faces clearly. honesty is something that we all care about- that is an undeniable fact. some may not value being honest to others, but all of us value someone being honest to us. imagine this scenario: you are waiting outside the emergency room to hear the results of a surgery of mr. someone-you-care-about. suddenly, the doctor walks outside covered in blood, with a grim look on his face as he reads through his clipboard. when all hope seems lost, however, when he is ten feet away from you, his entire demeanor changes and he's got that unexplainable happiness that only doctors have. he puts his hand on your shoulder, looks you dead in the eye, and says "don't worry, mr. someone-you-care-about is going to be alright." how convinced would you be that he spoke to you with authenticity? now, i'm using this as an example to illustrate the importance of being genuine with an audience. often times, when we prepare for a speech, we worry about how we look, how we sound, and how we can appeal to the audience- and yes, that is all important, but it is secondary to what the speaker truly believes. what good would it be to win over a crowd to a side that goes against what you stand for? in my own life, one of the people that have influenced my values is my dad, who constantly reminds me to be open with him. although we don't talk on a daily basis, i know that whenever we do have a conversation, he is ready to tell me everything that is on his mind. sometimes, when he is giving me advice, it sounds more like he is ranting- but in that ranting i see a great example of authenticity. and even though i don't listen to every detail that he tells me, i appreciate him for being on that level of transparency with me. that sense of trust is vital to an effective speech and can only be obtained when there is mutual honesty. of course, speaking with authenticity is easy when an audience is in agreement with the speaker. what happens when what you say may offend those that are listening or if the people are turned off by your genuineness? for example, if a thief were to say to his fellow thieves, "hey, i think stealing is wrong," do you think they would respond, "you know...you're right! let's start a non-profit organization!" no! instead, they would probably shank him! therefore, authenticity in the face of opposition is made useless without courage. you see, i'm a Christian and so, i believe in the bible, that it is God's word one-hundred percent. but, if i do not have the courage to say (pause) "we all have fallen short and sinned and deserve hell, but God in His mercy sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross so that we may be forgiven and He rose from the grave defeating death so that whomever believes in Him shall have eternal life and enjoy God forever"- if i don't have the courage to say that in front of a class or even one person, then i won't be able to effectively speak to anyone! we care so much about how we look, how we sound, or how we can appeal to the audience, but no! we must remember that an effective public speaker must first be willing to sacrifice the favor of his audience (pause) for the sake of his message. even if, in
the end, he himself is the only one who believes in it.
to transition to our closer, named casey, i said in my thug voice,
"somebody give me a beat!" as i expected, no one gave me a beat
and i received a bunch of confused expressions. then i said, "nah,
i'm just kidding. i'm not rapping for you today- but casey is going
to be wrapping things up, (looking at casey) so take it away."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
let me be a child again, to be in the midst of uncertainty, but to
know that my Father is in control and to find peace in His goodness.
before giving this speech i was praying that no matter what happened,
even if i mumbled and stuttered during the first half, that God would
sustain in my heart the boldness of Christ to preach the gospel and
He did! of course, my mission still stands, there are still some who
heard my speech today and completely ignored the ending. but for
those that were listening, i could see across the room a mixture of
smiles and frowns. whether or not there are brothers or sisters in my
class, i do not know and i can only trust in God to reveal that to me.
whatever happens, i know that i am blessed beyond i could ever know.
for our first graded assignment in communications, we
were put into groups that each were required to have
a half-hour long combined speech about the qualities
of an effective public speaker. for my characteristic, i
spoke about authenticity/ honesty and it went like this:
among all of the characteristics of a good public speaker, i think that authenticity or honesty is the most important both to the one speaking and the ones listening. because, i could have the perfect posture, i could wow you all with my metaphors and allusions, i could have soul-piercing eye contact, or i could even take off my glasses in a dramatic fashion, (pause) but to be honest, without my glasses i can no longer see your faces clearly. honesty is something that we all care about- that is an undeniable fact. some may not value being honest to others, but all of us value someone being honest to us. imagine this scenario: you are waiting outside the emergency room to hear the results of a surgery of mr. someone-you-care-about. suddenly, the doctor walks outside covered in blood, with a grim look on his face as he reads through his clipboard. when all hope seems lost, however, when he is ten feet away from you, his entire demeanor changes and he's got that unexplainable happiness that only doctors have. he puts his hand on your shoulder, looks you dead in the eye, and says "don't worry, mr. someone-you-care-about is going to be alright." how convinced would you be that he spoke to you with authenticity? now, i'm using this as an example to illustrate the importance of being genuine with an audience. often times, when we prepare for a speech, we worry about how we look, how we sound, and how we can appeal to the audience- and yes, that is all important, but it is secondary to what the speaker truly believes. what good would it be to win over a crowd to a side that goes against what you stand for? in my own life, one of the people that have influenced my values is my dad, who constantly reminds me to be open with him. although we don't talk on a daily basis, i know that whenever we do have a conversation, he is ready to tell me everything that is on his mind. sometimes, when he is giving me advice, it sounds more like he is ranting- but in that ranting i see a great example of authenticity. and even though i don't listen to every detail that he tells me, i appreciate him for being on that level of transparency with me. that sense of trust is vital to an effective speech and can only be obtained when there is mutual honesty. of course, speaking with authenticity is easy when an audience is in agreement with the speaker. what happens when what you say may offend those that are listening or if the people are turned off by your genuineness? for example, if a thief were to say to his fellow thieves, "hey, i think stealing is wrong," do you think they would respond, "you know...you're right! let's start a non-profit organization!" no! instead, they would probably shank him! therefore, authenticity in the face of opposition is made useless without courage. you see, i'm a Christian and so, i believe in the bible, that it is God's word one-hundred percent. but, if i do not have the courage to say (pause) "we all have fallen short and sinned and deserve hell, but God in His mercy sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross so that we may be forgiven and He rose from the grave defeating death so that whomever believes in Him shall have eternal life and enjoy God forever"- if i don't have the courage to say that in front of a class or even one person, then i won't be able to effectively speak to anyone! we care so much about how we look, how we sound, or how we can appeal to the audience, but no! we must remember that an effective public speaker must first be willing to sacrifice the favor of his audience (pause) for the sake of his message. even if, in
the end, he himself is the only one who believes in it.
to transition to our closer, named casey, i said in my thug voice,
"somebody give me a beat!" as i expected, no one gave me a beat
and i received a bunch of confused expressions. then i said, "nah,
i'm just kidding. i'm not rapping for you today- but casey is going
to be wrapping things up, (looking at casey) so take it away."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
let me be a child again, to be in the midst of uncertainty, but to
know that my Father is in control and to find peace in His goodness.
before giving this speech i was praying that no matter what happened,
even if i mumbled and stuttered during the first half, that God would
sustain in my heart the boldness of Christ to preach the gospel and
He did! of course, my mission still stands, there are still some who
heard my speech today and completely ignored the ending. but for
those that were listening, i could see across the room a mixture of
smiles and frowns. whether or not there are brothers or sisters in my
class, i do not know and i can only trust in God to reveal that to me.
whatever happens, i know that i am blessed beyond i could ever know.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
authenticity, capitol of authenti
something is wrong with me. aside from the fact that i have
eaten alone for every meal, avoided eye contact from now-
familiar faces, and done basically everything by myself since
i got here. aside from the fact that i haven't made a friend
outside of church or my room. that could easily be changed.
instead, something is seriously wrong with the fact that i
continually have to remind myself that these for years are
not for my parents. to be honest, i hate school right now.
it is not because i'm lonely out here nor is it the work load.
it's the motivation. haha...i know that in a couple days, i'm
going to be to overwhelmed by being thrown back into
irvine and i'm going to be too preoccupied to care about these
things. but, for now, i care- and it hurts me. their words ring
in my mind, telling me to do this for myself. telling me,
"you are the one in control of your life"- those words terrify me.
eaten alone for every meal, avoided eye contact from now-
familiar faces, and done basically everything by myself since
i got here. aside from the fact that i haven't made a friend
outside of church or my room. that could easily be changed.
instead, something is seriously wrong with the fact that i
continually have to remind myself that these for years are
not for my parents. to be honest, i hate school right now.
it is not because i'm lonely out here nor is it the work load.
it's the motivation. haha...i know that in a couple days, i'm
going to be to overwhelmed by being thrown back into
irvine and i'm going to be too preoccupied to care about these
things. but, for now, i care- and it hurts me. their words ring
in my mind, telling me to do this for myself. telling me,
"you are the one in control of your life"- those words terrify me.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
mcnopoly
the past week and a half has been unreal to me...as in
i don't exactly feel present here and i wish i could wake
up in my bed to find that i've just been sleeping for a
long time and that cinny has made a giant mess in my room.
funny how i dream of that happening- her blissful stare.
it was last night when it hit me like a slap of deja vu,
like the recurring scene from inception when cobb tries
to look at his children's faces one last time before he leaves-
but we all know he is just an old man filled with regret.
i'm not sad nor am i filled with regret, but i'm dumbfounded.
i know for sure God is telling me that things are changing
by showing me an unchanged scene with different people.
let me explain. yesterday, the college fellowship went to
skid row in l.a. to listen to a pastor preach on a street corner
and to help serve the homeless. the message we heard was
entitled "why does God choose one jerk over another jerk
and call it grace?" catchy title. it was about the story of
jacob and esau (hehe, i held back on the predestination talk)
and how a showing of favoritism could tear apart a family.
as we were preparing to leave, i was walking in front of the
group by myself still absorbing and processing what i had
heard, when suddenly one sister called my name and i turned
around to see that they were lined side-by-side with arms locked
together, moving as one unit. even though she had only asked
me where my jacket was, for a moment, i could not speak,
because i was in awe at the similarity. two sundays ago, when
i was still in irvine, i was walking from the mandarin side back
to the english building knowing well that a few people were
walking behind me. i heard esther's voice say "john, are you
leaving on wednesday?" hesitantly, i answered "yes"and kept
moving forward without looking back. then she asked me,
"are you ready?" when i turned around, i saw esther standing
between amy and serena with her arms locked in theirs.
crazy right? or am i just unaware that it is a common thing
for girls to link arms and walk behind stud muffins? anyways,
the point of all of this: God is telling me that things are different
obviously, because this is a different city and a different time
of my life. but in that, God is telling me that my mission is the
same. the people are the same- in need of His mercy and grace.
it is no coincidence that i just read about the sin of partiality.
oh, that i may repent of my foolish ways- not showing the same
love and genuineness so conditionally as i have been doing.
i'm sick of all the small talk and all the polite smiles that i give.
although it's not a bad thing to smile, i'm no where close to
collecting stories of my college adventures by just showing
my teeth to people. and my teeth aren't even pretty.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i went to the gym today...and i'm weaker than i thought.
calculus may be the limit of my math knowledge. =3
i don't exactly feel present here and i wish i could wake
up in my bed to find that i've just been sleeping for a
long time and that cinny has made a giant mess in my room.
funny how i dream of that happening- her blissful stare.
it was last night when it hit me like a slap of deja vu,
like the recurring scene from inception when cobb tries
to look at his children's faces one last time before he leaves-
but we all know he is just an old man filled with regret.
i'm not sad nor am i filled with regret, but i'm dumbfounded.
i know for sure God is telling me that things are changing
by showing me an unchanged scene with different people.
let me explain. yesterday, the college fellowship went to
skid row in l.a. to listen to a pastor preach on a street corner
and to help serve the homeless. the message we heard was
entitled "why does God choose one jerk over another jerk
and call it grace?" catchy title. it was about the story of
jacob and esau (hehe, i held back on the predestination talk)
and how a showing of favoritism could tear apart a family.
as we were preparing to leave, i was walking in front of the
group by myself still absorbing and processing what i had
heard, when suddenly one sister called my name and i turned
around to see that they were lined side-by-side with arms locked
together, moving as one unit. even though she had only asked
me where my jacket was, for a moment, i could not speak,
because i was in awe at the similarity. two sundays ago, when
i was still in irvine, i was walking from the mandarin side back
to the english building knowing well that a few people were
walking behind me. i heard esther's voice say "john, are you
leaving on wednesday?" hesitantly, i answered "yes"and kept
moving forward without looking back. then she asked me,
"are you ready?" when i turned around, i saw esther standing
between amy and serena with her arms locked in theirs.
crazy right? or am i just unaware that it is a common thing
for girls to link arms and walk behind stud muffins? anyways,
the point of all of this: God is telling me that things are different
obviously, because this is a different city and a different time
of my life. but in that, God is telling me that my mission is the
same. the people are the same- in need of His mercy and grace.
it is no coincidence that i just read about the sin of partiality.
oh, that i may repent of my foolish ways- not showing the same
love and genuineness so conditionally as i have been doing.
i'm sick of all the small talk and all the polite smiles that i give.
although it's not a bad thing to smile, i'm no where close to
collecting stories of my college adventures by just showing
my teeth to people. and my teeth aren't even pretty.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i went to the gym today...and i'm weaker than i thought.
calculus may be the limit of my math knowledge. =3
Monday, September 24, 2012
aliso 122
 |
| my dorm on a sunday morning |
i am simply blessed and completely blown away. the thought of being
a newcomer still baffles me. my only hope is that newcomers that attend
our church in irvine would be able to experience such a love as i did
yesterday. it really is true what Jesus says about the mark of His disciples
how others will recognizes genuine believers by their love for one another.
it is amazing to be in the middle of that observing, receiving, and enjoying!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
slenderman
 |
| my first meal in college... |
i wish i could teleport. my chemistry professor is awkward,
but in a funny, good way. my communications professor
at first looked grumpy and boring, but looks are deceiving.
i like everything about my calculus professor except his
handwriting. my notes are a mess. i have yet to meet my
lab instructor. i'm doing homework on a friday for the first
time in my life. so...this is what college is like. mellow days...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the food in the cafeteria is good, but pretty much everything
they serve is fattening. exercise, exercise, and exercise!
freshman fifteen...pounds of muscle! get emmanuel-gains!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
but nice won't cut it
 |
| on the walk to my first class... |
in the past three days.
and yet, it seems that
i feel so little compared
to those that i have left
behind even just temp-
orarily back in my
hometown. but i do
feel. i feel loved beyond
i could have ever ima-
gined. not simply be-
cause i am here, but
also because He is
present. i am held to-
gether by grace. i would
be sobbing right now,
but that is not my call-
ing nor my hope. i am
fully satisfied by what
has been done on the
cross. lead me to it.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
sagoingne
two more days of summer...what shall i do?
spend time with people before i leave or be a hermit?
or...spend time with other people being hermits?
well anyways, the time has finally come for me to go.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
littlebigplanet 2 + artsy people = thorough amusement!
spend time with people before i leave or be a hermit?
or...spend time with other people being hermits?
well anyways, the time has finally come for me to go.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
littlebigplanet 2 + artsy people = thorough amusement!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
flee this youth
literally run if you must to quiet the voices of lust,
because if you just sit and rust, the devil may catch you.
o, how prone is your heart to wander- your mind to ponder
what is over yonder while you ignore the Father, who is here.
do you truly swear by what is greater or are you a grace-hater
saying, "i'll pray about it later," putting off your Maker, God?
flee youthful passions! look, forgiveness isn't scarce like rations,
but listen, each sin you commit is like another set of lashin's
on the back of your Savior, your Lord, your first love.
but Jesus, knowing He'd be betrayed, had the ruler of the air played,
His own life down He laid, so that our debt could be paid.
the deceiver rejoiced when He died, he rejoiced committing suicide.
only through the Son's demise, could He three days later rise.
and you know all of this. the gospel- ignorance isn't bliss.
each day is an opportunity you can't miss to walk in the Spirit.
because if you just sit and rust, the devil may catch you.
o, how prone is your heart to wander- your mind to ponder
what is over yonder while you ignore the Father, who is here.
do you truly swear by what is greater or are you a grace-hater
saying, "i'll pray about it later," putting off your Maker, God?
flee youthful passions! look, forgiveness isn't scarce like rations,
but listen, each sin you commit is like another set of lashin's
on the back of your Savior, your Lord, your first love.
but Jesus, knowing He'd be betrayed, had the ruler of the air played,
His own life down He laid, so that our debt could be paid.
the deceiver rejoiced when He died, he rejoiced committing suicide.
only through the Son's demise, could He three days later rise.
and you know all of this. the gospel- ignorance isn't bliss.
each day is an opportunity you can't miss to walk in the Spirit.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
ramble
so my brother's girlfriend has been in china on missions for a while now and apparently, her birthday is coming up soon. my brother gave me a card to sign and this is what i wrote with a giant smile on my face:
"happy birthday! and merry christmas in advance...we don't talk much...or at least, i don't talk much, but i hope to get to know you more. well, so far, i like your personality! haha, i don't know if david (my brother) tells you about me, but i feel as if i should explain my awkwardness. of course, i'm not going to do that...who writes about himself on someone else's birthday card? sigh...i knew i should have written a rough draft- i don't know how to end this well. i love you, sister! john"
yes. i am a dead man as soon as my brother proofreads. but, i've realized just how little i tell others of my love for them and just how little i've risked to stay comfortable. it's time to be a little more adventurous, don't you think?
"happy birthday! and merry christmas in advance...we don't talk much...or at least, i don't talk much, but i hope to get to know you more. well, so far, i like your personality! haha, i don't know if david (my brother) tells you about me, but i feel as if i should explain my awkwardness. of course, i'm not going to do that...who writes about himself on someone else's birthday card? sigh...i knew i should have written a rough draft- i don't know how to end this well. i love you, sister! john"
yes. i am a dead man as soon as my brother proofreads. but, i've realized just how little i tell others of my love for them and just how little i've risked to stay comfortable. it's time to be a little more adventurous, don't you think?
Thursday, September 6, 2012
buckets
brother: honestly, i don't get how you are so strong. see, if you just had a haircut, you could get a girlfriend. that body, that face, you just need that hair.
me: what about personality?
brother: yea, personality is important, but...your personality sucks. you always try to be sarcastic and girls don't like that.
me: that's true...i guess.
brother: so all you got to do is just look good and keep your mouth shut, because your jokes stink.
and then it hit me. my brother was right. i am pretty strong.
me: what about personality?
brother: yea, personality is important, but...your personality sucks. you always try to be sarcastic and girls don't like that.
me: that's true...i guess.
brother: so all you got to do is just look good and keep your mouth shut, because your jokes stink.
and then it hit me. my brother was right. i am pretty strong.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
downtown
these past few days, i've become a loner- going through routine
brainless entertainment as if that could fill me up somehow...
and when i convince myself to turn off the white-noise screens,
a familiar silence falls and i'm reminded of my boring isolation.
and cinny, i know she will simply walk away from me to remind
me even more of my loneliness, but i can't help but lay next to her.
she'll be sent away soon...and soon, i'll be looking for just an
empty space where she might be, only to look up in a senile-manor
saying, "oh, that's right. she's finally grown tired of seeing me-
that's why she's not here anymore." but then, out of my decaying
optimism, i'll probably say, "it's perfect this way. i'm a college
man now. no time to lay down and just stare at the ceiling and
tell my dog about my thoughts anymore. with her around, i'll
just never learn to be on my own." on that day that we part ways,
i will not cry. i won't look back or think that it's been 15 years.
instead, i will thank her for being the worst dog a boy could
ask for. i will thank her for being a man's best friend.
brainless entertainment as if that could fill me up somehow...
and when i convince myself to turn off the white-noise screens,
a familiar silence falls and i'm reminded of my boring isolation.
and cinny, i know she will simply walk away from me to remind
me even more of my loneliness, but i can't help but lay next to her.
she'll be sent away soon...and soon, i'll be looking for just an
empty space where she might be, only to look up in a senile-manor
saying, "oh, that's right. she's finally grown tired of seeing me-
that's why she's not here anymore." but then, out of my decaying
optimism, i'll probably say, "it's perfect this way. i'm a college
man now. no time to lay down and just stare at the ceiling and
tell my dog about my thoughts anymore. with her around, i'll
just never learn to be on my own." on that day that we part ways,
i will not cry. i won't look back or think that it's been 15 years.
instead, i will thank her for being the worst dog a boy could
ask for. i will thank her for being a man's best friend.
Monday, September 3, 2012
eating concrete
why is loneliness creeping up on me?
my mom always asks if i'm alright, when,
however subtle, something is off with me.
that's some crazy mother's intuition!
i wish i could give all this extra time i have
to those that need it more than i do...
and that feels like everyone that i know.
meh...i'm not lonely! i just wish i could
leave some parting words of advice to those
younger than me before i go off to school.
something like "don't stress...it's unattractive."
or maybe "love one another like the bible
tells you to." or "shoulder each others'
burdens. don't be arrogant like me and try
to deal with everything on your own."
my mom always asks if i'm alright, when,
however subtle, something is off with me.
that's some crazy mother's intuition!
i wish i could give all this extra time i have
to those that need it more than i do...
and that feels like everyone that i know.
meh...i'm not lonely! i just wish i could
leave some parting words of advice to those
younger than me before i go off to school.
something like "don't stress...it's unattractive."
or maybe "love one another like the bible
tells you to." or "shoulder each others'
burdens. don't be arrogant like me and try
to deal with everything on your own."
Thursday, August 30, 2012
1 john 2:18-27
v.18- "children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. therefore we know that it is the last hour."the last hour refers to the time between Jesus' resurrection and His second coming. there are many antichrists/ false teachers/ false prophets (2 thessalonians 2:1-10) who Jesus warned of (matthew 24:5, 24)- most will appear genuine, but ultimately, what defines an antichrist is his denial of Jesus as Christ (v.22).
v.19- "they went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. but they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us."
john addresses those who had recently left the church by saying that they were never genuine believers (acts 20:30). this implies that once a person is truly saved, he will never abandon Christ nor will he lose his salvation (jude 24, john 17:12). God made it plain (1 corinthians 11:19) that those who left were not His so that the church would be sanctified. church is for believers and therefore, the church should not try to appeal to the world.
v.20~21- "but you have been anointed by the Holy One, and you all have knowledge. i write to you not because you do not know the truth, but because you know it, and because no lie is of the truth."
those who have been transformed by the Holy Spirit live by the gospel (2 corinthians 1:21). john writes this letter to remind Christians to go back to the knowledge they have been given (john 14:26) and to abide in the teachings of Christ (v.27).
v.22- "who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? this is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son."
it is obvious to believers when the antichrists deny Jesus as the Christ, (2 john 7) but the devil will try to deceive the elect by disguising himself and by twisting scriptures.
v.23- "no one who denies the Son has the Father. whoever confesses the Son has the Father also."
since the Son and the Father are both God, no one can have one and not the other. Jesus is the only way to the Father (john 14:6).
v.24- "let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. if what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father."
the gospel message which we heard calls us to love God and those who love Him will obey His commandments (2 john 6, john 14:23).
v.25- "and this is the promise that He made to us- eternal life."
God will keep those whom He predestined (john 17:2) to be saved, because He is faithful to His promises. therefore, we who have been saved can stand confidently before God on the day of judgement.
v.26~27- "i write these things to you about those who are trying to deceive you. but the anointing that you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone should teach you. but as His anointing teaches you about everything, and is true, and is no lie- just as it has taught you, abide in Him."
in this context, john means that believers have all the knowledge they need from the gospel (jeremiah 31:34). this implies that knowledge/ education which is not based on true biblical doctrine is not necessary. hence, we should study the bible to discern what is the truth (john 14:17) and what is a lie from the devil and his antichrists.
v.19- "they went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. but they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us."
john addresses those who had recently left the church by saying that they were never genuine believers (acts 20:30). this implies that once a person is truly saved, he will never abandon Christ nor will he lose his salvation (jude 24, john 17:12). God made it plain (1 corinthians 11:19) that those who left were not His so that the church would be sanctified. church is for believers and therefore, the church should not try to appeal to the world.
v.20~21- "but you have been anointed by the Holy One, and you all have knowledge. i write to you not because you do not know the truth, but because you know it, and because no lie is of the truth."
those who have been transformed by the Holy Spirit live by the gospel (2 corinthians 1:21). john writes this letter to remind Christians to go back to the knowledge they have been given (john 14:26) and to abide in the teachings of Christ (v.27).
v.22- "who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? this is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son."
it is obvious to believers when the antichrists deny Jesus as the Christ, (2 john 7) but the devil will try to deceive the elect by disguising himself and by twisting scriptures.
v.23- "no one who denies the Son has the Father. whoever confesses the Son has the Father also."
since the Son and the Father are both God, no one can have one and not the other. Jesus is the only way to the Father (john 14:6).
v.24- "let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. if what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father."
the gospel message which we heard calls us to love God and those who love Him will obey His commandments (2 john 6, john 14:23).
v.25- "and this is the promise that He made to us- eternal life."
God will keep those whom He predestined (john 17:2) to be saved, because He is faithful to His promises. therefore, we who have been saved can stand confidently before God on the day of judgement.
v.26~27- "i write these things to you about those who are trying to deceive you. but the anointing that you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone should teach you. but as His anointing teaches you about everything, and is true, and is no lie- just as it has taught you, abide in Him."
in this context, john means that believers have all the knowledge they need from the gospel (jeremiah 31:34). this implies that knowledge/ education which is not based on true biblical doctrine is not necessary. hence, we should study the bible to discern what is the truth (john 14:17) and what is a lie from the devil and his antichrists.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
a seal named wayne
constantly, i am reminded of my call to love first God and then to love second those around me, everyone from my parents to homeless people in china. we are told that it is important to love God first because we cannot truly love others without God's love, agape love, within us. and this love that we show to others comes naturally to us believers, by His grace, so it should be easy, right? we think...who would reject a love like this? one that is not condemning, one that is selfless, one that is so unconditional? it would be illogical, we think, to reject something so pure and good as agape love! now, pause. what is good? according to the world: anything that makes you feel good- money, sex, drugs, power, fame- just as long as you have a genuine heart. it's no wonder why so many in the world ask the question, "why do good people die?" and completely miss the fact that that only happened once. that is, only when our Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross did a good Person die. after reading 1 thessalonians today, i've been reminded of something precious and essential to evangelism. paul tells us that we as Christians are not to be people-pleasing people who speak with flattery, but to do good to all. but if we are told to do good to all, wouldn't that mean that we are to try to please everyone? no, this is not a contradiction, but a clarification. what paul clarifies is that we, as God's children, are to do good- what is good according to His word- to others and sometimes, if not most of the time, doing good to others, showing them agape love, sharing the gospel will not please them, but rather they may even retaliate with hatred.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i've already accepted the fact that i can't change you nor can i save you.
not a day goes by that i do not think of you, because i love you so much.
but you've chosen to live a life of partying, drinking, and lawlessness.
you've chosen to hate my God and so i must say, you've chosen to hate me.
however, since that day, there has not been a single doubt in my mind.
no matter what you've chosen, i will choose to always love you. always.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i've already accepted the fact that i can't change you nor can i save you.
not a day goes by that i do not think of you, because i love you so much.
but you've chosen to live a life of partying, drinking, and lawlessness.
you've chosen to hate my God and so i must say, you've chosen to hate me.
however, since that day, there has not been a single doubt in my mind.
no matter what you've chosen, i will choose to always love you. always.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
go get 'em
sigh...we're all going off to live our separate lives in various places now. but i'm excited. there's not a doubt in my mind about it. come what may.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
so k.o.
sprinting with emmanuel = possibly pulled hamstring.
well, i guess i'll be focusing on upper body strength for a while.
well, i guess i'll be focusing on upper body strength for a while.
Monday, August 20, 2012
little speakers
one month left to go until a new stage of my life begins. i can feel the tense worries of my parents creeping up on me. it's hitting them hard i assume, because soon, the world will eat me up. i'm sure some of my friends and mentors have their concerns for me as well, because from what most people conclude about me, i'm still a simple, complacent, naive, optimistic, gullible, nonchalant, too-kind-for-his-own-good kid. i've grown accustomed to that description and i'm quite stubborn, so changing drastically is not likely for me. but, that doesn't mean that i won't change at all in college. yes, i may not be the most cynical person, but at the same time, i know that everyone is evil, so don't think that i will be so easily fooled by seemingly "good" intentions. even if people say they are Christian, i will be sure to double check with the Word- this is actually the area in which i'm most critical. as for my motivation, i may not love the thought of being an engineer, i may not even love math or physics, but i love my Jesus! and in everything, i will try not to complain, so pray for me to have joy in the work that i do. and to address those that my parents warn me about, those that may hurt me in the future, those that may hate me, i hope that i may be a blessing to you all.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
what do?
ice cold dong gua cha + reading ephesians (again) = a splendid afternoon!
yesterday, we were bored at the ho residence, so i invented a card game.
it's called "cards." i think my game-improvising skills are improving.
yesterday, we were bored at the ho residence, so i invented a card game.
it's called "cards." i think my game-improvising skills are improving.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
major/minor
"but all our lives, we’ve been treading paper in the space between the words.
and there implied’s the thought that we are barely more than bodies for the birds, carrion.
they say that we’re just accidental atoms beating air, carrying on and on,
unwitting orphans of an unyielding despair. but our hearts tell a different story; our hands feel a different pulse.
if anything means anything,
there must be something meant for us to be, a song that we were made to sing.
there must be so much more than we can see.
something fathomless, deeper than our pride can dive; numinous, higher than –
our hearts can rise; transcendent, further than our thoughts can reach; immanent, closer than the air we breathe." -dustin kensrue, treading paper
and there implied’s the thought that we are barely more than bodies for the birds, carrion.
they say that we’re just accidental atoms beating air, carrying on and on,
unwitting orphans of an unyielding despair. but our hearts tell a different story; our hands feel a different pulse.
if anything means anything,
there must be something meant for us to be, a song that we were made to sing.
there must be so much more than we can see.
something fathomless, deeper than our pride can dive; numinous, higher than –
our hearts can rise; transcendent, further than our thoughts can reach; immanent, closer than the air we breathe." -dustin kensrue, treading paper
Monday, August 6, 2012
bruce springsteen
you've gone a million miles
how far'd you get?
to that place you can't remember
and you can't forget.
how far'd you get?
to that place you can't remember
and you can't forget.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
ears that ring
yesterday, i got my car washed, climbed suicide hill, watched batman, ate chick-fil-a, and went to a concert at the house of blues. it was quite an eventful day and now my calves are sore. whether the soreness is from jogging up suicide hill or from standing still for about 3 hours while listening to music at semi-obnoxious volumes, i do not know. i must save money for reals now. spontaneous spending is not a good habit to enter college with. and the food has one trend: unhealthy. i'm looking forward to tuesday.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
araneus diadematus
as i approached my side gate after a day of playing,
i noticed what felt like a branch brush my face. of
course, it wasn't a branch, because it stayed on my face
as i stepped back. i thought to myself, "web? can't be..."
then, a thick strand floated across my field of vision.
at that moment, i slowly ducked to an angle which i
could see what was in front of me more clearly. a dot.
a dot with legs. eight cringe-inducing legs. at least,
for someone who is afraid of spiders. instead of jumping
or screaming, i politely excused myself from its home.
"oh, hello there. i hope you don't mind me passing through.
sorry for destroying half of your home with my face."
usually, out of habit, i put my hand in front of my head
whenever i walk in places that are dark and or are likely
to have webs. however, today, i let my guard down.
you know what that means. it's about time for ninja training.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
summer bible study #3 is ready to go! time and place?
i noticed what felt like a branch brush my face. of
course, it wasn't a branch, because it stayed on my face
as i stepped back. i thought to myself, "web? can't be..."
then, a thick strand floated across my field of vision.
at that moment, i slowly ducked to an angle which i
could see what was in front of me more clearly. a dot.
a dot with legs. eight cringe-inducing legs. at least,
for someone who is afraid of spiders. instead of jumping
or screaming, i politely excused myself from its home.
"oh, hello there. i hope you don't mind me passing through.
sorry for destroying half of your home with my face."
usually, out of habit, i put my hand in front of my head
whenever i walk in places that are dark and or are likely
to have webs. however, today, i let my guard down.
you know what that means. it's about time for ninja training.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
summer bible study #3 is ready to go! time and place?
Thursday, August 2, 2012
jenga solitaire
backward pyramid!
otherwise known
as a structure
that gets wider
as it gets higher.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
a nerd's cry
it's august already. what is this anxiety that i'm feeling?
perhaps it is because half of summer has flown by or maybe
because my classes are almost over. i've been caged
by my parents' desire for me to get ahead- seems more
like i've been behind. my potential was held back and
i have learned nothing from those two classes. i've been
waiting, like a feral beast locked in a cage, to be let out.
to be challenged. to go explore. oh how i've missed math!
haha...maybe my introduction to engineering class was
designed to piss off potential engineers, because there is
no room for any practical use of math and physics.
oh would my brain just pick a side already! rest or work!
but alas, i am forced to choose neither. because the
tedious tasks that my teacher requires us to do neither
allow my mind peace nor allow my mind growth.
give me a textbook to study at least! all we've used thus
far is google- i could do that on my own for "research."
honestly, i'm just not going to do the homework. instead,
i'm going to build. honestly, legos do far more for my mind.
so there you have it, a future engineer's vacation involves
going back to the building blocks of every childhood (literally).
perhaps it is because half of summer has flown by or maybe
because my classes are almost over. i've been caged
by my parents' desire for me to get ahead- seems more
like i've been behind. my potential was held back and
i have learned nothing from those two classes. i've been
waiting, like a feral beast locked in a cage, to be let out.
to be challenged. to go explore. oh how i've missed math!
haha...maybe my introduction to engineering class was
designed to piss off potential engineers, because there is
no room for any practical use of math and physics.
oh would my brain just pick a side already! rest or work!
but alas, i am forced to choose neither. because the
tedious tasks that my teacher requires us to do neither
allow my mind peace nor allow my mind growth.
give me a textbook to study at least! all we've used thus
far is google- i could do that on my own for "research."
honestly, i'm just not going to do the homework. instead,
i'm going to build. honestly, legos do far more for my mind.
so there you have it, a future engineer's vacation involves
going back to the building blocks of every childhood (literally).
Monday, July 30, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
bulbasaur
i realize when i say "i got a bubble sword,"
it may sound like "i caught a bulbasaur."
but it's true, i'm 18 and i still play with bubbles.
Friday, July 27, 2012
prideful anonymous
yesterday, my family got into another quarrel about something
meaningless- except this time, i, the kid, intervened and apologized.
one of the signs that your sibling relationships are awesome is
when you realize that you were at fault literally seconds after
an offense. i smirked at my brother, asking him to help with the laundry
using a i-know-you-are-not-going-to-help tone and in response,
he shoved me to the wall a little bit more aggressively than usual.
my mom, not understanding that i totally deserved to be pushed
suddenly got protective of me and angry at him. knowing that i was a jerk
and wanting to avoid further conflict, i said sorry, then he said sorry...
but my mom was still mad at my brother for some reason.
anyways, after my brother and i made up in record speed, everything,
at least in my opinion, became nothing short of a sitcom.
basically, my mom was arguing about how my brother treats me
worse than his friends (actually, it's quite the opposite; my friends,
if i treated you worse than my brother, most of you would not be
my friends). meanwhile, my brother was telling her that he was
showing me tough love- which, in most cases, is true. and little
me, i was just doing the laundry listening in on their conversation
and offering my counterarguments from the corner. i think the only
time they heard me was when i shouted out to my brother.
me: "hey! i love you!" smiles* (no response) squints eyes* (silence)
"do you love me?!-"
my brother: "yes! okay?! stop saying that! it's freaking weird, you gaylord."
me: "hehehe...you said you love me." continues doing laundry* scene ends.
alternate ending- dad: "i don't want to do this, david, but if you continue
being mean to your brother, i will charge you rent." smiles*
meaningless- except this time, i, the kid, intervened and apologized.
one of the signs that your sibling relationships are awesome is
when you realize that you were at fault literally seconds after
an offense. i smirked at my brother, asking him to help with the laundry
using a i-know-you-are-not-going-to-help tone and in response,
he shoved me to the wall a little bit more aggressively than usual.
my mom, not understanding that i totally deserved to be pushed
suddenly got protective of me and angry at him. knowing that i was a jerk
and wanting to avoid further conflict, i said sorry, then he said sorry...
but my mom was still mad at my brother for some reason.
anyways, after my brother and i made up in record speed, everything,
at least in my opinion, became nothing short of a sitcom.
basically, my mom was arguing about how my brother treats me
worse than his friends (actually, it's quite the opposite; my friends,
if i treated you worse than my brother, most of you would not be
my friends). meanwhile, my brother was telling her that he was
showing me tough love- which, in most cases, is true. and little
me, i was just doing the laundry listening in on their conversation
and offering my counterarguments from the corner. i think the only
time they heard me was when i shouted out to my brother.
me: "hey! i love you!" smiles* (no response) squints eyes* (silence)
"do you love me?!-"
my brother: "yes! okay?! stop saying that! it's freaking weird, you gaylord."
me: "hehehe...you said you love me." continues doing laundry* scene ends.
alternate ending- dad: "i don't want to do this, david, but if you continue
being mean to your brother, i will charge you rent." smiles*
Thursday, July 26, 2012
1 john 2:1-17
v.1- "my little children, i am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. but if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous."
john addresses his readers affectionately to draw their attention and then states his purpose. as a continuation of chapter 1, john intends to turn readers from their sins (repentance) and towards Christ. also, he reassures genuine believers that Christ is their mediator (1 timothy 2:5).
v.2- "He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world."
this does not mean that everyone in the world is saved, but rather that everyone could be saved through repentance and trust in Jesus.
v.3- "and by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments."
those who are born again will obey God's commandments, because they know Him.
v.4~5- "whoever says 'i know Him' but does not keep His commandments is a liar and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps His word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. by this we may know we are in Him:"
again, john points out that obedience of a believer is evidence of true conversion (although there are other proofs of being saved). however, faith must come before works (ephesians 2:8-9). therefore, an outward confession means nothing without an outward action- and an outward action means nothing without an inward conviction and transformation.
v.6- "whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked."
Christians are called to reflect the love that Jesus showed to His disciples through the cross. and we are able to show God's love by sharing the good news of salvation with the power of the Holy Spirit (1 thessalonians 1:5).
v.7- "beloved, i am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. the old commandment is the word that you have heard."
john is referring to the greatest commandment: to love God and others. "the beginning" may refer to OT times (deuteronomy 6:5), but considering that there may have been gentiles among the audience, it is more likely linked to when Jesus gave the commandment in the gospels (matthew 22:34-40).
v.8- "at the same time, it is a new commandment that i am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining."
Christians are entrusted to continue God's work on earth by the power of the Holy Spirit (v.6).
v.9~11- "whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. but whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."
hatred blinds us from the presence of God and prevents us from enjoying the fullness of His perfect love. Specifically, we must love others in a way that brings glory to God. to non-Christians, there are many ways to show them love, but ultimately, we love them by bringing them to know our Lord. to brothers and sisters, we must do everything for the sake of edifying one another so that everyone within the fellowship would grow and worship in unity. and this unity is not to be obtained, but rather maintained (ephesians 4:1-6)
v.12~14- "i am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake. i am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who is from the beginning. i am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. i write to you, children, because you know the Father. i am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who is from the beginning. i write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one."
whether or not "little children," "fathers," and "young men" refer to different levels of spiritual maturity, john writes to bring reassurance to all believers- meaning this is an encouragement to all stages of the Christian life. thus, all Christians are able to obey God's commandments and all are empowered by the Holy Spirit to overcome evil.
v.15- "do not love the world or the things of the world. if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."
john does not tell his readers to reject everything in the world and become isolated from community (because some material possessions can be blessings from God), but rather to devote themselves solely to the Lord (matthew 6:24). and to acknowledge that everything they own is His.
v.16- "for all that is in the world- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions- is not from the Father but is from the world."
there are certain desires and passions that we should abstain from and there are others with which believers can have that bring glory to God.
v.17- "and the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."
material possessions, social status, power, things of the flesh, and even human love are all temporary. so, the only hope for eternity comes from God.
john addresses his readers affectionately to draw their attention and then states his purpose. as a continuation of chapter 1, john intends to turn readers from their sins (repentance) and towards Christ. also, he reassures genuine believers that Christ is their mediator (1 timothy 2:5).
v.2- "He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world."
this does not mean that everyone in the world is saved, but rather that everyone could be saved through repentance and trust in Jesus.
v.3- "and by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments."
those who are born again will obey God's commandments, because they know Him.
v.4~5- "whoever says 'i know Him' but does not keep His commandments is a liar and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps His word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. by this we may know we are in Him:"
again, john points out that obedience of a believer is evidence of true conversion (although there are other proofs of being saved). however, faith must come before works (ephesians 2:8-9). therefore, an outward confession means nothing without an outward action- and an outward action means nothing without an inward conviction and transformation.
v.6- "whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked."
Christians are called to reflect the love that Jesus showed to His disciples through the cross. and we are able to show God's love by sharing the good news of salvation with the power of the Holy Spirit (1 thessalonians 1:5).
v.7- "beloved, i am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. the old commandment is the word that you have heard."
john is referring to the greatest commandment: to love God and others. "the beginning" may refer to OT times (deuteronomy 6:5), but considering that there may have been gentiles among the audience, it is more likely linked to when Jesus gave the commandment in the gospels (matthew 22:34-40).
v.8- "at the same time, it is a new commandment that i am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining."
Christians are entrusted to continue God's work on earth by the power of the Holy Spirit (v.6).
v.9~11- "whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. but whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."
hatred blinds us from the presence of God and prevents us from enjoying the fullness of His perfect love. Specifically, we must love others in a way that brings glory to God. to non-Christians, there are many ways to show them love, but ultimately, we love them by bringing them to know our Lord. to brothers and sisters, we must do everything for the sake of edifying one another so that everyone within the fellowship would grow and worship in unity. and this unity is not to be obtained, but rather maintained (ephesians 4:1-6)
v.12~14- "i am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake. i am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who is from the beginning. i am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. i write to you, children, because you know the Father. i am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who is from the beginning. i write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one."
whether or not "little children," "fathers," and "young men" refer to different levels of spiritual maturity, john writes to bring reassurance to all believers- meaning this is an encouragement to all stages of the Christian life. thus, all Christians are able to obey God's commandments and all are empowered by the Holy Spirit to overcome evil.
v.15- "do not love the world or the things of the world. if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."
john does not tell his readers to reject everything in the world and become isolated from community (because some material possessions can be blessings from God), but rather to devote themselves solely to the Lord (matthew 6:24). and to acknowledge that everything they own is His.
v.16- "for all that is in the world- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions- is not from the Father but is from the world."
there are certain desires and passions that we should abstain from and there are others with which believers can have that bring glory to God.
v.17- "and the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."
material possessions, social status, power, things of the flesh, and even human love are all temporary. so, the only hope for eternity comes from God.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
frogs out
to my brothers and sisters, i've never stopped loving you.
it was me. i held bitterness that i did not know about
against myself. if you noticed that i was colder, that i
stopped talking to you and stopped asking for prayer
requests, it was not because of you. it was my weakness.
i could not forgive myself for hurting a sister in the past
due to my insensitivity and in turn, i doubted my gifts.
when He told me not to worry, i worried. when He told
me to trust Him, i trusted myself. and in fellowship,
i was not present, i was withdrawn. when some of you
were in need of support or words of edification, i turned
away, because i no longer wanted to be involved. and
when some of you wanted to offer me support or blessings,
i arrogantly refused your teachings, thinking that i knew
everything already and was oblivious to your spiritual growth.
i knew God would meet me this weekend. i knew He would
not let me continue walking around in circles of disappointment.
by His grace, i was able to spend long drives in prayer,
meditation, and reflection. by His grace, walls of pride and
isolation were broken as i began to listen to some of you.
by His grace, i am no longer fearful (in fact, i ate my fear)
and i can trust that He who began a good work in me
will finish it. and i no longer worry about you all as well,
because in all circumstances you are in, God has already
sealed you, your salvation is secure in Christ, and nothing
in all creation can separate you from His love. amen.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
to all of you who want to have bible study, let's do it.
time to be decisive. spontaneous hangouts, begin!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
han, burt, and david
a week has flown by since i returned home from orientation.
i wonder what happened to me during those three long days.
at first, i was excited. forty miles away from anyone that i knew.
an exciting kind of loneliness. but then, it got hot. really hot.
a person like me is not one for complaining, with the exception
of heat. i can get really cranky when it's hot and probably seem
even more condescending than i normally seem to those around me.
but aside from the heat, there was a tremendous amount of walking!
half of the orientation was walking. literally, they made us walk
all the way across the campus just to dismiss us. usually, i don't
mind walking as long as there is someone to talk to, but my
crankiness from the heat must have left a bad first impression
on my orientation group (barely anyone talked to me). well,
i can't help being an introvert, so...anyways, the food was not bad.
not healthy either (i ate a cheeseburger everyday), but i've never
been much of a picky eater. hopefully, my stomach will tell
my mouth and hands to choose a few salads here and there.
and my legs will bring me to the gym at least once a week.
i must say though, my school chose to serve my favorite food
(alfredo pasta) on the first night- that pretty much sealed the deal.
now, what about the Christian fellowships? meet any Christians?
yes, in fact, my roommate was a Christian hoping to major in music
to write worship songs in the future. we actually talked about
our churches back home and he told me about his struggle with
cussing and falling into peer pressure. of course, by the time
we got to know each other, orientation was over, but fall is not
that far away. as for 'fellowships', i approached four of them:
Christian students, destino, chi alpha, and cru. not thinking
about joining any of them. it's times like these when being a skeptic
is a really good thing- never can be too careful when it comes
to cults nor alert when it comes to bad theology. well, i'm not too
worried about finding a good fellowship out there. a good
church is more of what i'm concerned about.
i wonder what happened to me during those three long days.
at first, i was excited. forty miles away from anyone that i knew.
an exciting kind of loneliness. but then, it got hot. really hot.
a person like me is not one for complaining, with the exception
of heat. i can get really cranky when it's hot and probably seem
even more condescending than i normally seem to those around me.
but aside from the heat, there was a tremendous amount of walking!
half of the orientation was walking. literally, they made us walk
all the way across the campus just to dismiss us. usually, i don't
mind walking as long as there is someone to talk to, but my
crankiness from the heat must have left a bad first impression
on my orientation group (barely anyone talked to me). well,
i can't help being an introvert, so...anyways, the food was not bad.
not healthy either (i ate a cheeseburger everyday), but i've never
been much of a picky eater. hopefully, my stomach will tell
my mouth and hands to choose a few salads here and there.
and my legs will bring me to the gym at least once a week.
i must say though, my school chose to serve my favorite food
(alfredo pasta) on the first night- that pretty much sealed the deal.
now, what about the Christian fellowships? meet any Christians?
yes, in fact, my roommate was a Christian hoping to major in music
to write worship songs in the future. we actually talked about
our churches back home and he told me about his struggle with
cussing and falling into peer pressure. of course, by the time
we got to know each other, orientation was over, but fall is not
that far away. as for 'fellowships', i approached four of them:
Christian students, destino, chi alpha, and cru. not thinking
about joining any of them. it's times like these when being a skeptic
is a really good thing- never can be too careful when it comes
to cults nor alert when it comes to bad theology. well, i'm not too
worried about finding a good fellowship out there. a good
church is more of what i'm concerned about.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
popcorn frenzy
i watched the amazing spider-man tonight and i must say,
it was only alright. pardon me, girls (and some guys), but
i didn't really fall in love with andrew garfield...nor ms. stone.
their acting was somewhat generic- not to say that i know
anything about acting, but i wasn't exactly drawn with emotions.
as for the villain, i can't say that i loved him, can't say hated.
it was more of a passive pity, so when spidey saved the day,
i wasn't overjoyed that the villain lost. of course, contextual
wise, i thought the movie pretty much hit the mark as much
as a comic book movie could. i mean, everyone is saying how
accurate it is to the original story compared to the previous trilogy,
but half of those people haven't even read a single spider-man
comic in their lifetime...well, kids, gwen stacy dies. and the
life of peter parker just about goes downhill from there.
it was only alright. pardon me, girls (and some guys), but
i didn't really fall in love with andrew garfield...nor ms. stone.
their acting was somewhat generic- not to say that i know
anything about acting, but i wasn't exactly drawn with emotions.
as for the villain, i can't say that i loved him, can't say hated.
it was more of a passive pity, so when spidey saved the day,
i wasn't overjoyed that the villain lost. of course, contextual
wise, i thought the movie pretty much hit the mark as much
as a comic book movie could. i mean, everyone is saying how
accurate it is to the original story compared to the previous trilogy,
but half of those people haven't even read a single spider-man
comic in their lifetime...well, kids, gwen stacy dies. and the
life of peter parker just about goes downhill from there.
Monday, July 16, 2012
jingoist
for some reason, i've had some gory nightmares in the past few days.
in one, a girl was devoured by sharks in front of me.
in another, a friend coughed out blood all over my staircase.
in the last, cinny was zombified and i was forced to cut her down.
hopefully, none of these are prophetic.
in one, a girl was devoured by sharks in front of me.
in another, a friend coughed out blood all over my staircase.
in the last, cinny was zombified and i was forced to cut her down.
hopefully, none of these are prophetic.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
1 john 1
theme: john writes to call Christians back to true doctrine, obedient living, and fervent devotion after many in the church leave (1 john 2:19)
purpose: growth in faith, obedience, and love and directing believers to the work done on the cross
v.1- "that which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life-"
similar to how the gospel of john begins, 1 john starts by stating Christ as the beginning (before time existed). as one of the twelve disciples, john was able to hear, see, and touch Jesus physically, so we can trust what he says as a witness.
v.2- "the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us-"
Jesus Christ was made manifest to john and other believers meaning He was sent from and revealed by the Father.
v.3~4- "that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things to you so that our joy may be complete."
as Christians, out hope as we share the gospel is to not only invite others to have human fellowship with us, but also that others may come to have fellowship with God. joy can only come truly through this kind of fellowship.
v.5- "this is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."
God is perfect in knowledge and purity as the light.
v.6~7- "if we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."
those that outwardly say that they believe but have lives that do not reflect a transformation are not in the light. obedience (walking in the light) is evidence of a true believer, although obedience is not equal to salvation.
v.8~9- "if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
it is impossible, even for Christians, to never sin while we are still in the flesh. therefore, we must repent continually- through repentance and reliance on God's promises, God will work in us, so that we become more and more holy.
v.10- "if we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."
those who are self-righteous will have their sins revealed in the light. unless the gospel is in us, we remain in darkness.
purpose: growth in faith, obedience, and love and directing believers to the work done on the cross
v.1- "that which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life-"
similar to how the gospel of john begins, 1 john starts by stating Christ as the beginning (before time existed). as one of the twelve disciples, john was able to hear, see, and touch Jesus physically, so we can trust what he says as a witness.
v.2- "the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us-"
Jesus Christ was made manifest to john and other believers meaning He was sent from and revealed by the Father.
v.3~4- "that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things to you so that our joy may be complete."
as Christians, out hope as we share the gospel is to not only invite others to have human fellowship with us, but also that others may come to have fellowship with God. joy can only come truly through this kind of fellowship.
v.5- "this is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."
God is perfect in knowledge and purity as the light.
v.6~7- "if we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."
those that outwardly say that they believe but have lives that do not reflect a transformation are not in the light. obedience (walking in the light) is evidence of a true believer, although obedience is not equal to salvation.
v.8~9- "if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
it is impossible, even for Christians, to never sin while we are still in the flesh. therefore, we must repent continually- through repentance and reliance on God's promises, God will work in us, so that we become more and more holy.
v.10- "if we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."
those who are self-righteous will have their sins revealed in the light. unless the gospel is in us, we remain in darkness.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
from the cradles
i hate the beach for these simple five reasons:
1. i get burnt every single time i happen to go
2. the sand always manages its way into everything
3. it's boring without friends or family
4. sharks or anything else that lurks in the dark sea
5. the more time i spend there, the grosser i get
i can only think of one reason to love the beach:
1. it serves as a constant reminder of how much
bigger the Lord of the universe is.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
note to self: next time, don't go to the beach. if so,
stay only for a little while and make sure not to use
sunblock that has been expired for two years.
1. i get burnt every single time i happen to go
2. the sand always manages its way into everything
3. it's boring without friends or family
4. sharks or anything else that lurks in the dark sea
5. the more time i spend there, the grosser i get
i can only think of one reason to love the beach:
1. it serves as a constant reminder of how much
bigger the Lord of the universe is.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
note to self: next time, don't go to the beach. if so,
stay only for a little while and make sure not to use
sunblock that has been expired for two years.
Monday, June 25, 2012
four wallets
too much of my time is being spent on the screen. i have a headache.
for once, i can understand why my mother dislikes technology.
peace and quiet which only the Lord can provide is what i need.
oh, and i'm thankful for this family...everyone, let's play this summer.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
hyouhaku
Hello, everyone! I wrote you this poem, because I’m a poor public speaker.
See, when I see all of your pretty eyes staring, my voice tends to get weaker.
“Congratulations! You’ve finally made it!” Ah, to me that sounds so lyrical.
Because if you were to look at my past, you’d think my graduation was a miracle.
As my brother, Max, can testify, I was mean, disrespectful, and angry all the time.
To put simply, I would have been arrested in a second if being a punk were a crime.
But I spent most of my childhood searching for acceptance and masculinity.
While praying to God for forgiveness as a kid, I never accepted His divinity.
And all the while, He blessed me with parents that have always loved me to this day.
I guess I should say these things now, because next year, with you I will no longer stay.
Mom, your name is so fitting, because I don’t deserve someone like you.
You’ve taught me that it’s not money or romance, but only God that I should pursue.
Dad, I know we don’t speak much, because you’re not a big talker.
But when things are quiet, I always see you in prayer- I know, I’m a stalker.
Both of you show your dedication to the Lord and motivate me to do the same.
If I could describe you two in only one word, I would just use my name.
Now I must thank all of my advisers whom have helped me along the way.
Firstly, I’d like to thank the one who recently got married, the one and only Peter Guei.
Your smile, your witty black shirts. You are one of the reasons why I loved 9aday.
Hazel Lebiga, you’re always up to date with the media, you make encyclopedias jealous.
When it comes to zombies, business, and expository teaching, you are always the most zealous.
Next, I’d like to thank you, Kevin Chen, for helping me lead small group.
Without your guidance, I sometimes think we would never get off the subject of poop.
Herald, one of my big heroes, discipleship with you has been sweeter than churros.
If I could paint the lessons that you’ve taught me, it would span more than a few murals.
Onto the junior advisers, we can call them the “Super Awesome Mega Ultra Cool Changs.”
Emily, thanks for all the artsy decorations. Along with Serena, we’re always the paparazzi gang.
Emmanuel, thank you for all of your outgoing craziness. Physical or spiritual, always get gains.
To all of my peers, I would like to say thank you for these past few years.
Fellowship with you all has brought me great joy and to that I say “Cheers!”
Although I’m leaving, I have confidence in my faith of the gospel.
So, my brothers and sisters, don’t wait to love others, because all the time you have is snao.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
so the story goes
while the big brother is up in norcal, the little brother at home
claims half of the second floor as his own. he misses him already.
but in these first days of his final summer, he can't help feeling
alone and quiet and still- just as he should be. solitude is often
viewed as a sad, forsaken state bordered by nothing, but to him,
there is a secret serenity hidden in isolation. he wouldn't mind
if the last page of this chapter were left somewhat empty, blank.
this summer, he just wants to sit at the feet of his God and listen.
claims half of the second floor as his own. he misses him already.
but in these first days of his final summer, he can't help feeling
alone and quiet and still- just as he should be. solitude is often
viewed as a sad, forsaken state bordered by nothing, but to him,
there is a secret serenity hidden in isolation. he wouldn't mind
if the last page of this chapter were left somewhat empty, blank.
this summer, he just wants to sit at the feet of his God and listen.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
kokuten
on to the next fight...a fire in his eyes
it's not time to rest yet, he picks up his sword
and walks uncertain of what is ahead
but confident of what is waiting at the end
it's not time to rest yet, he picks up his sword
and walks uncertain of what is ahead
but confident of what is waiting at the end
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
foolish little brother
you can try to grab hold of the past, but it won't change.
just as you can cling to something trivial, the facts aren't rewritten.
you can make up a false reality, but in the end, you're in this one.
just as you can put on make up- things hidden will be revealed.
you can remain silent to keep your friends, but they are dead.
just as you can walk through a crowd of blind men in a burning
building and not lead a single one out to safety with you...
my friend, if you want to kill me, hate me, despise me then
run, run, and cling to life- you will most definitely lose it.
but hate me and i will only love you more. for a love that loves
in spite of rejection is far deeper than the love i have for you now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
uchiha itachi remains the best anime character ever ^/_\^
just as you can cling to something trivial, the facts aren't rewritten.
you can make up a false reality, but in the end, you're in this one.
just as you can put on make up- things hidden will be revealed.
you can remain silent to keep your friends, but they are dead.
just as you can walk through a crowd of blind men in a burning
building and not lead a single one out to safety with you...
my friend, if you want to kill me, hate me, despise me then
run, run, and cling to life- you will most definitely lose it.
but hate me and i will only love you more. for a love that loves
in spite of rejection is far deeper than the love i have for you now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
uchiha itachi remains the best anime character ever ^/_\^
Saturday, June 9, 2012
free ball
a combination of dodgeball, capture-the-flag, and chess!
basically, i spent the whole day inventing a new game...
which could possibly surpass its childhood predecessor
conquer the castle. in other news, after some thorough
investigation, (also known as a best friend's intuition)
he is falling for yet another girl...this time, someone i know.
all i have to say is, "give it up, you don't know love yet."
if he spends his days fantasizing over that mushy crap...
it is not so surprising to find that he's not learning from
his devotionals. he's far too distracted, and amidst his
confusion, he may actually be trying to tell me something.
well, i would tell him to drop it. drop all the "500 days"
romance that is worthless. surrender to the love that is
eternally priceless. i love him and i want him to mature
in his faith. God, i pray that You break him apart and
that he would flee youthful passions.
basically, i spent the whole day inventing a new game...
which could possibly surpass its childhood predecessor
conquer the castle. in other news, after some thorough
investigation, (also known as a best friend's intuition)
he is falling for yet another girl...this time, someone i know.
all i have to say is, "give it up, you don't know love yet."
if he spends his days fantasizing over that mushy crap...
it is not so surprising to find that he's not learning from
his devotionals. he's far too distracted, and amidst his
confusion, he may actually be trying to tell me something.
well, i would tell him to drop it. drop all the "500 days"
romance that is worthless. surrender to the love that is
eternally priceless. i love him and i want him to mature
in his faith. God, i pray that You break him apart and
that he would flee youthful passions.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
fly, you fools
instead of doing homework...i'm listening to a marathon
of songs from all the animes and shows i've watched
throughout the years. what a wonderful afternoon it has been.
of songs from all the animes and shows i've watched
throughout the years. what a wonderful afternoon it has been.
Monday, June 4, 2012
do you even know me?
the world really has gotten bigger for you
seems like a castle's in your way...
and you are running now on the wide path.
here i am standing where our friendship
used to be, wishing you had never aged into
the darkness in which you faithfully reside.
you have always been my brother neither
older nor younger- we were equally grown.
our time together has been great- but now
i understand another side of the pain that
comes from having a best friend. i've always
thought that the hardest part was letting go,
moving on to another part of life, only to
reminisce later with a nostalgic soliloquy.
but no- now i see that breaking the bond
would only be painfully trite, and much
too easy. loving you- despite your choices-
is much more difficult. it's unconditional.
i'm not judging you, for i know that i am
not your judge. no, i have strongholds in my
life as well- many of which you can relate to-
but when you bring alcohol into the picture,
all of those summer days in which we played
so carelessly when we were younger suddenly
have turned into night. suddenly, i see you
quickening your death. suddenly, our good
memories have started to blur (possibly more
for you than for me). should i be angry at all?
should i retaliate by crashing one of those
idiotic parties that you attend just to knock
you out so that you don't further harm your
body? or maybe i should go whip your "friends"
for being stupid enough to mess with my brother.
of course i should be angry! but...i am not.
instead, i'm on the verge of tears, desperately
praying for you! don't do this to yourself!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Jesus paid a price that He didn't owe,
because we owed a price that we couldn't pay.
seems like a castle's in your way...
and you are running now on the wide path.
here i am standing where our friendship
used to be, wishing you had never aged into
the darkness in which you faithfully reside.
you have always been my brother neither
older nor younger- we were equally grown.
our time together has been great- but now
i understand another side of the pain that
comes from having a best friend. i've always
thought that the hardest part was letting go,
moving on to another part of life, only to
reminisce later with a nostalgic soliloquy.
but no- now i see that breaking the bond
would only be painfully trite, and much
too easy. loving you- despite your choices-
is much more difficult. it's unconditional.
i'm not judging you, for i know that i am
not your judge. no, i have strongholds in my
life as well- many of which you can relate to-
but when you bring alcohol into the picture,
all of those summer days in which we played
so carelessly when we were younger suddenly
have turned into night. suddenly, i see you
quickening your death. suddenly, our good
memories have started to blur (possibly more
for you than for me). should i be angry at all?
should i retaliate by crashing one of those
idiotic parties that you attend just to knock
you out so that you don't further harm your
body? or maybe i should go whip your "friends"
for being stupid enough to mess with my brother.
of course i should be angry! but...i am not.
instead, i'm on the verge of tears, desperately
praying for you! don't do this to yourself!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Jesus paid a price that He didn't owe,
because we owed a price that we couldn't pay.
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