dead or alive

i know how you feel
but we know what we must do
keep your weapons aimed

burn the house down

go check out adam4d.com

so...my parents are leaving for taiwan today.
they'll be gone for about three weeks.
haha, i like how they are putting post-it notes
on (literally) everything as if my brother and i
are going to die on our own.

begin again

my baby

the
 reckless
  love,
the
 fight
  for
   joy,
the
 hurt
  and
   the
    pain

rehabilitation

weeks are starting to blend- and yes, this scares me.

weak week

sounds like adventure.

coffee has entered my body. unhealthy eating habits
have ensued. exercise has temporarily ceased. the
assault on my school work has begun. next week,
i will be in need of rehabilitation. but i don't care.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
i'm about ready to throw my printer out the window.
update (7:52 pm): i fixed my printer and went like...

funny scene from bleach

gongcheng shi

today in chinese class, everyone was groggy as usual
as for me, i was feeling more energetic, cheery, and optimistic.
so much so that when my teacher said "lai, everyone repeat
after me in chinese," i sat at the edge of my seat and took a
deep breath, ready to give her an enthusiastic response.
she said "home-"
and almost interrupting her, i said "HOME!"...in english
while the people around me mumbled "jia."
immediately, my teacher looked at me and i just smiled
blissfully like a child. and she gave a little chuckle.
was i possibly the least awake student there? another john lee
moment to put in the books. nonchalant and disarming...

long life

"when did my attention become something of such high demand?
i'm not even cool. why do you even need to bother with me?"
...is what i said last night after a long pointless pride battle with
my older brother. although i said that towards him, i would be
lying if i claimed that it was not directed towards anyone else.
i've grown people tired, haven't i? i hate this state of mind. why?
because deep down at the core of my very being, i know that i
love because of God alone- i know it unshakably. but i'm not a
machine and inevitably, my emotions will interfere and blur
my discernment- they have interfered. and i ask myself the question:
is it really not loving to expect progress or change in a person?

booty call

if you are struggling with something, just tell me.
please don't passively linger around me expecting
me to instinctively pick up all of your shy clues.
truly, it makes me feel as if i fail you as a friend each
time i see you and am unable to tend to your wounds.

hospitality

thank you again for opening your home to me as a place for refuge
as i silently watch you work and study hard, i can't help but smile
creepy as it may sound, it truly is a gift to see you steadily grow up
and i think to myself that there will come a day when it is your turn
to be where i am now, observing someone younger than yourself
and delighting to invest whatever free time you have in that person

my printer is a brat

ajosdlajaslkujdallmai
a couple weekends ago, i couldn't get any work done
because my internet was down. so we fixed that by
getting a new modem- yay for faster internet!
but this meant reconfiguring every external hardware
that uses internet. lo and behold...everything but my
printer works. now i'm back to being unproductive
and twice as distracted by the faster internets.
lolcats be like all your times are belung to us -_-
---------------------------------------------------------------
weather.com says it's gonna rain on wednesday.
this better not be a lie, because i am stoked. 

never shut you out

get out

    a ghost is all that's left of
    everything we swore
    we'd never forget.


















i learned chord inversions on the piano
the other day! still musically challenged
but somewhat closer to playing something.

what a waste

spending the whole afternoon waiting to
spend the whole afternoon playing with you.
if i am to be honest, i am starting to get annoyed.