kapwah- lift your head up, heavy heart
walk on with your gaze set ahead.
never stop exploring, love discovery.
does the peace in your life lead you to helplessness?
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
is that what you call tact
ever since last friday, i think i've been physically depressed.
overworked, lack of sleep, unhealthy convenient junk food,
lack of exercise, intermittent migraines- you get the picture.
this physical depression reached its height on thursday night
when i was reminded of what it was like to have a stomach
ulcer. feeling like my stomach was going to burst out of my
sides in the middle of the night, helplessly squirming in pain,
not knowing if i should move out of fear of triggering even
greater discomfort, my head spinning, a fiery fever emitting
from my arms, an icy chill down my spine and legs, and a
slipping grasp of my notion of time- at one instance, ten minutes
seemed to be a few hours and at another instance, the sun seemed
to rise in a matter of seconds. disoriented, i spent the majority of
yesterday lying down while thoughts of anxiety constantly passed
through my mind. three weeks into school and this is what i have
become. i thought about high school a lot yesterday. about the days
when i could be nonchalant with everything and everyone. in a
good way i mean. and then i had a strange dream that i threw a
bag of mini-wheats at my dad. what. i've been listening to
takingbacksunday a lot lately and i've been in an alternative
punk rock mood in general- which is probably not good, because
i fear that one day during this semester i may simply storm out of
a class just because i can't handle it anymore and then pretend that
i know how to shred on my little air guitar while rocking out my not
so rock-able hair (haha we all know i'm not cool enough to do that).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
but ninjas don't get sick, they simply get humbled
after a day and a half of rest, i'm back and ready to
take on the world! one step at a time...
overworked, lack of sleep, unhealthy convenient junk food,
lack of exercise, intermittent migraines- you get the picture.
this physical depression reached its height on thursday night
when i was reminded of what it was like to have a stomach
ulcer. feeling like my stomach was going to burst out of my
sides in the middle of the night, helplessly squirming in pain,
not knowing if i should move out of fear of triggering even
greater discomfort, my head spinning, a fiery fever emitting
from my arms, an icy chill down my spine and legs, and a
slipping grasp of my notion of time- at one instance, ten minutes
seemed to be a few hours and at another instance, the sun seemed
to rise in a matter of seconds. disoriented, i spent the majority of
yesterday lying down while thoughts of anxiety constantly passed
through my mind. three weeks into school and this is what i have
become. i thought about high school a lot yesterday. about the days
when i could be nonchalant with everything and everyone. in a
good way i mean. and then i had a strange dream that i threw a
bag of mini-wheats at my dad. what. i've been listening to
takingbacksunday a lot lately and i've been in an alternative
punk rock mood in general- which is probably not good, because
i fear that one day during this semester i may simply storm out of
a class just because i can't handle it anymore and then pretend that
i know how to shred on my little air guitar while rocking out my not
so rock-able hair (haha we all know i'm not cool enough to do that).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
but ninjas don't get sick, they simply get humbled
after a day and a half of rest, i'm back and ready to
take on the world! one step at a time...
Sunday, February 2, 2014
pity nods
a room full of tired eyes and the different weeks that got them there
is it strange that i felt loneliness build up the more time we spent together?
is it strange that i felt loneliness build up the more time we spent together?
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