frogs out

to my brothers and sisters, i've never stopped loving you.
it was me. i held bitterness that i did not know about
against myself. if you noticed that i was colder, that i
stopped talking to you and stopped asking for prayer
requests, it was not because of you. it was my weakness.
i could not forgive myself for hurting a sister in the past
due to my insensitivity and in turn, i doubted my gifts.
when He told me not to worry, i worried. when He told
me to trust Him, i trusted myself. and in fellowship,
i was not present, i was withdrawn. when some of you
were in need of support or words of edification, i turned
away, because i no longer wanted to be involved. and
when some of you wanted to offer me support or blessings,
i arrogantly refused your teachings, thinking that i knew
everything already and was oblivious to your spiritual growth.
i knew God would meet me this weekend. i knew He would
not let me continue walking around in circles of disappointment.
by His grace, i was able to spend long drives in prayer,
meditation, and reflection. by His grace, walls of pride and
isolation were broken as i began to listen to some of you.
by His grace, i am no longer fearful (in fact, i ate my fear)
and i can trust that He who began a good work in me
will finish it. and i no longer worry about you all as well,
because in all circumstances you are in, God has already
sealed you, your salvation is secure in Christ, and nothing
in all creation can separate you from His love. amen.
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to all of you who want to have bible study, let's do it.
time to be decisive. spontaneous hangouts, begin!