yes, i am alive and well. so why the distance and why the silence?
am i not a soul that has been snatched out of spiritual deadness and
is my body not a temple in which the Holy Spirit- the very One who
intelligently designed each intricacy of the created universe- dwells?
is there not power from Him to meditate on the truth constantly, to
pray without ceasing, to be in continual communion with Him, and
from that communion draw the sweet affection with which i can use
to pour out unto others and to effectively rejoice when His name is
praised and lifted high as a result? is our God not so gracious to grant
us convictions and passions that lead to His worship and glory?
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i realize that over the course of the past year, i have gradually closed
myself off from others- defaulting to "objectively" observe the happenings
around me, the struggles being had and the emotions being felt. rarely have
i been pushed to be courageous during this time. it's like i've been playing
an rpg where the main character is superficial rather than superhero-
collecting special items and leveling up, but never going to the front lines
to fight the monsters. i've been listening and taking everything in, but when
time would come for me to take action, i would stop and there would seem
to be a misstep in the narrative. it's cliche to say that i need to change, but
there's no alternative.
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