mcnopoly

the past week and a half has been unreal to me...as in
i don't exactly feel present here and i wish i could wake
up in my bed to find that i've just been sleeping for a
long time and that cinny has made a giant mess in my room.
funny how i dream of that happening- her blissful stare.
it was last night when it hit me like a slap of deja vu,
like the recurring scene from inception when cobb tries
to look at his children's faces one last time before he leaves-
but we all know he is just an old man filled with regret.
i'm not sad nor am i filled with regret, but i'm dumbfounded.
i know for sure God is telling me that things are changing
by showing me an unchanged scene with different people.
let me explain. yesterday, the college fellowship went to
skid row in l.a. to listen to a pastor preach on a street corner
and to help serve the homeless. the message we heard was
entitled "why does God choose one jerk over another jerk
and call it grace?" catchy title. it was about the story of
jacob and esau (hehe, i held back on the predestination talk)
and how a showing of favoritism could tear apart a family.
as we were preparing to leave, i was walking in front of the
group by myself still absorbing and processing what i had
heard, when suddenly one sister called my name and i turned
around to see that they were lined side-by-side with arms locked
together, moving as one unit. even though she had only asked
me where my jacket was, for a moment, i could not speak,
because i was in awe at the similarity. two sundays ago, when
i was still in irvine, i was walking from the mandarin side back
to the english building knowing well that a few people were
walking behind me. i heard esther's voice say "john, are you
leaving on wednesday?" hesitantly, i answered "yes"and kept
moving forward without looking back. then she asked me,
"are you ready?" when i turned around, i saw esther standing
between amy and serena with her arms locked in theirs.
crazy right? or am i just unaware that it is a common thing
for girls to link arms and walk behind stud muffins? anyways,
the point of all of this: God is telling me that things are different
obviously, because this is a different city and a different time
of my life. but in that, God is telling me that my mission is the
same. the people are the same- in need of His mercy and grace.
it is no coincidence that i just read about the sin of partiality.
oh, that i may repent of my foolish ways- not showing the same
love and genuineness so conditionally as i have been doing.
i'm sick of all the small talk and all the polite smiles that i give.
although it's not a bad thing to smile, i'm no where close to
collecting stories of my college adventures by just showing
my teeth to people. and my teeth aren't even pretty.
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i went to the gym today...and i'm weaker than i thought.
calculus may be the limit of my math knowledge. =3