something is wrong with me. aside from the fact that i have
eaten alone for every meal, avoided eye contact from now-
familiar faces, and done basically everything by myself since
i got here. aside from the fact that i haven't made a friend
outside of church or my room. that could easily be changed.
instead, something is seriously wrong with the fact that i
continually have to remind myself that these for years are
not for my parents. to be honest, i hate school right now.
it is not because i'm lonely out here nor is it the work load.
it's the motivation. haha...i know that in a couple days, i'm
going to be to overwhelmed by being thrown back into
irvine and i'm going to be too preoccupied to care about these
things. but, for now, i care- and it hurts me. their words ring
in my mind, telling me to do this for myself. telling me,
"you are the one in control of your life"- those words terrify me.
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