rainy thursday

"what is she doing there?" i thought as i looked outside the window.
my parents were angry- i'm not sure whether at each other, at me, or at her-
and i asked them eagerly, "can i go out to meet with her?" they nodded "yes"
but looked at me with pity in their eyes like they knew something foreboding
and subconsciously, like i was expected to know it too. but like a child, i
ignored all suspicions and threw away all doubts and ran outside with my
blind faith. she was there, right in front of my eyes- i couldn't believe it. so,
i did the only thing i knew how to do- i crouched down from a distance of
about ten feet, flung my arms wide open, and called out with a smile, "cinny,
come here!" she was hiding behind a tree and as she slowly walked out, i
thought, "what if she's forgotten me? or what if she's become rabid and
vicious?" but my worries were quickly quelled when i saw that she
approached me as she always did- slow and with an emotionless face.
when she came within reachable distance, i grabbed her by the cheeks and
kissed her forehead. like always. i pet her soft fur and played with her ears.
then i kissed her wet nose and smelled her horrible breath- i didn't mind at
all- i was overwhelmed with happiness at this reunion. from that point on,
i knew it was a dream, i knew i was sleeping. but because of my stubborn-
ness, i wanted to stay in my dream. and because i stayed in my dream, what
happened next...happened. after i had kissed her several times, i wanted to
take her inside the house. but as i reached under her belly to pick her up, my
arm grazed her right hind leg and she flinched. immediately i knew some-
thing was wrong with her leg, because she would only flinch if she was hurt.
so i took a closer look and found that a part of her leg had been decaying to
the point where it was clearly thinner than her other three legs. i looked
back at my parents inside the house- they wouldn't look me in the eyes. and
we were all thinking the same thing. "this is it. the end of the line." but
foolishly, i said to her, "it's going to be alright. i'm going to fix you up!" it
began to sprinkle. she looked at me with shame in her eyes as if to say
"stop, john. i didn't come to ask for help." but foolishly, i ran back inside
to look for bandages and as i searched, all i could hear was the rain getting
louder, all i could think about were flashbacks of all the years we spent
together- i searched more vigorously as if i could somehow, through my
desperation save my best friend. i found no bandages, so i walked back
towards the glass sliding door thinking that i could at least take her in to
shelter her from the cold. but when i saw her again, i could not bring my-
self to move an inch further. standing at a distance of about ten feet away
from me, she stared solemnly, sadly, at my soul. and the rain revealed a
reality that i was not ready to receive. her fur was now wet and pressed
against her body- she was a skeleton. i could no longer hear the rain
though it was pouring and i could no longer hear myself speak, although
i was calling out her name. the only sound i heard, if such a scene could
look like a sound, was the word, "goodbye." and in an instant, her heart
gave in and her body collapsed. she died- and i wish the rain had lied-
because in the rain, she lied. i awoke and rain was falling from my eyes.