blacklisted

you know those nights when you feel like the world
depends on you to get into the mind of sir isaac newton
and somehow jam a buttload of calculus into your
head until you start bleeding from the nose and mouth?
this is one of those nights which harbor every last inch
of hatred from within my soul towards every other class
which has watered down my math learning capabilities
to those of a stinkbrain. i'm starting to forget how to plot
simple polynomials and how to compute the areas of
simple shapes. my reserve of knowledge must have
discovered something was wrong and so decided to commit
suicide during finals week. my vision is becoming blurry
intermittently as i write this post. i want to sleep and be
confident for this math test just like i have been for every
math test that i've ever taken in my entire life. but, stupid
me- i drank coffee. so i have forced myself to stay up
staring at numbers and variables that no longer make sense.
when what i study does not make sense, i usually look it
over numerous times until all of it becomes clear. if i
repeat this process too many times, however, i start to lose
it. i've already lost it. the white noise drives me insane.
it reminds me how insignificant this night is. you know those nights.