trapped inside

to a sister in Christ,
i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i fail to understand you when you need me to. i'm sorry that i joke around when you want someone to be serious. i'm sorry that i can't make you feel a certain way about yourself. i'm sorry that sometimes, i can be an insensitive jerk and that i've hurt you...i'm sorry that i told you that i love you, because you probably still think that i don't- oh, but i do. i'm sorry that i'm not able to man up and take all of the drama and all of the insults that you may offer. although it may sound cliche by now, i'm sorry. please forgive me. i say this with all respect not because i want your favor nor because i want to be liked by simply everyone that i consider a friend, but rather because i, myself, can be as stubborn as anyone else when it comes to silence. so i'm hoping that it is not too much to ask that you would forgive me, because i don't want to grow cold...i don't want any interference in my relationship with God. and that's another thing. i'm praying that you don't ever tell me again that God doesn't care about you. that is a lie from the devil and you should know that by now- even if you get emotional, you shouldn't tell me that God doesn't care about you just to prove a point. nor should you use profanity to display your anger. it saddens me when i see a fellow believer use that language- no one with joy should have to resort to such hate-filled words. i tell you this not to condemn you- no, i want you to repent of your sins, because you've let your emotions, instead of our Lord, take control. and this is another thing. stop depending on me! depend on God! trust me when i say this, trust God! don't rely on me or any other human to always listen to you or be there for you, because humans will fail you. but our God is good and faithful to all of His promises. and you know what those are? well, one of them is that He will answer your prayers if they are according to His will! how awesome is that? and when you pray, do you know that the Holy Spirit is the one giving you the words to say? did you ever think about that, how you become completely in tune with God when you pray? it may seem random coming from me, but you are a beautiful young woman. (pause) i know...i'm charming, huh? let me ask you, do you honestly feel or think about yourself that way? i do, but the thing about a lot of girls is that they find it hard to believe that they are beautiful, even if they are told hundreds of times by hundreds of people- and rightly so, because the opinions of man are worthless! but God has made you in His very own image and while you hated Him before your conversion, God found you to be beautiful. and let me just say this to all of my sisters, you are so beautiful, not because of your outside appearance, but because you have the blood of Christ on you. now, don't get confused when i say that i love you. this kind of love is not the romantic kind of love that the devil has tricked so many kids into idolizing through society. i love you in the sense that i want you to grow in Christ in every possible way at every possible moment of your life. i want you to be constantly reminded to never give up the joy that you have in redemption and salvation through the sacrifice of Jesus. so please, do not give up. have a little faith.